Dear Lou,
Boo, it's getting harder to accept you're actually gone. It's getting hard to keep going on knowing I won't ever see you again. You were my life, you are my life.
I miss you more and more every day which I didn't think could be possible, though it is. It's been 2 years and 30 weeks since I got the call, 2 years and 30 weeks since you passed. Our mates have been staying the night a lot more after witnessing my nightmare and breakdown three weeks ago, the one I told you about. They've been giving me extra attention but thankfully not pushing me to communicate and giving me my space. Them holding me, comforting me isn't anywhere near how it was with you around. It's crazy to think you were the one to always comfort me, now you're the reason I need comfort. It's obviously not your fault and I would never blame you over this because you can't help that you died, It was a drunk driver, but it's cruel that they lived while you died.
I keep thinking about the what if's, I've written so many what if's down to you, I can't even count or recite them all but the biggest two what if's I ask myself every day, What if I asked you to stay home that day like I planned to? Would you still have gone to work and passed? Would you have still gone out at all that day and died the same way?
Or what if I stayed on the phone with you for a moment more? Would you have missed that crash? Would that drunk driver have killed you or anyone else that day? Would you have actually come home to me?
It's your birthday this week, in five days to be exact. You would've been 30, you should've been able to live to grow old with me Boobear. I should've had more time. I need you to come back to me. I keep telling myself you're not dead, I keep telling myself you'll come back, I keep writing you these letters, hoping to give them to you because you'll come back to me. I keep telling myself these things but I know you're gone and I hate it, I just want you back with me.
I love you so much, please come back to me, please let this be a dream Boo,
Love your Hazza.
Harry neatly folds the letter, puts it into an envelope, licks it, and seals it up tight. He turns the envelope to the front, holding onto his pen once again, and placing it on the paper. He places the date on it and then puts the number of the letter is on the top right corner.
December 19th, Letter 134
He walks over to retrieve the box, placing it on his desk before opening it, and placing the letter inside, before putting the box back. The only thing he can think is, 'Come Back, Lou.'
YOU ARE READING
Can't Let Him Go||L.S.
FanfictionWhere Louis unexpectedly passes from an accident on his way home and Harry can't let go... He just can't let him go and doesn't want to, he just knows he'll see him again, maybe even soon.
