Can't Let Him Go||L.S.

Louis' Birthday

Today is Louis' birthday, today Louis William Tomlinson would have turned 30 years old. He would've invited all of his mates and his family to his husband and his house, he would've had good times and made good memories with them, turning 30 is such a big deal. 

But now, during the Christmas season, he's not there anymore and hasn't been since his 27 birthday. His family decorates the house, and they have gotten to the point that they can actually function, though Louis will never be forgotten in any of their minds. Stories will be passed on about him on Christmas eve, Christmas too so it's not feeling so empty without his cheerful laugh there. The way he would bring his husband with him ever since the year they met, the way the family warmed up to Harry and loved him immediately, and the way they would watch as Harry sat on the chair, watching with so much love and adoration in his eyes as he watched his husband with his younger siblings. Louis' family hasn't even seen Harry since the funeral, not that they meant to lose contact but it happened with Harry not wanting to talk to anyone. Harry didn't mean for it to happen but like I've said, it happened.

Louis would've turned 30, his loving baby boy right at his side, singing the loudest while he brought out the homemade birthday cake he made. Louis would've only watched his Husband and his voice would be the only one his ears would've zoned in on like they did every year. His eyes would've lit up as his favorite type of cake, homemade carrot cake, gets set in front of him, staring at his husband and listening to him sing happy birthday before closing his eyes and blowing out the candles, making the same wish he made every year. 'Let this boy love me for another year,' that has been the very wish he's made every year since he and Harry admitted their love for each other on Louis' 18th birthday, he's never told Harry about it either. He never wanted his wish to go wrong. 

But now Louis isn't there for his birthday, he's not there to do everything he used to do with his husband, he can't make his yearly wish, he hasn't since he turned 27. During the Christmas season, Christmas eve, and Christmas day, sometimes days after, Harry doesn't leave his bedroom for anything. Liam happily brings him food and sits down with him if Harry doesn't mind, which he usually doesn't. 

He may want to be alone on Louis' birthday and Christmas, but he really doesn't want to either. 

Most of the day Liam sits with Harry, mainly the only noise is the tv lightly talking in the background or Harry's sobs rack through the room, coddled up against Liam. No matter the situation that day, Liam doesn't leave Harry's side unless Harry asks him to. Which, usually on these days, whether it be his or Lou's birthday, Christmas, valentines day, or their anniversary, Harry likes to stay cuddled up with Liam, even going to the extent of asking him to stay with him through the night. It comforts him but today, at about 8 at night on the 24th of December, he asks Liam if he can leave for a moment, just so he can be alone. Liam sadly smiles, comfortingly kisses Harry's head, and walks out of the door, planning on coming to check on him in an hour unless asked to come back. 

Once Liam leaves, Harry sits up with his back against the headboard. He pulls his knees up to his chest so curled up into a ball, attempting to hide his face deep in his knees. Tears rapidly fall down his cheeks, light sobs coming out of his mouth, his heart feeling like it's getting torn out of his chest, does that pain ever stop? 

About 15 minutes later, Harry hears a noise outside of his window, he just shrugs it off, knowing it's more than likely a Raccoon or Possem sniffing around for food. Though when he hears a little click on his window, he jumps and looks at the window, seeing a figure standing outside of it, a human figure. He gasps and scrambles to get off the bed and goes to the door before he hears the window opening, cool air swooshing at him and the person is in the room, catching Harry before he could twist the knob of his bedroom door. A cold hand lands on his shoulder, one landing on his mouth when he opens it to scream, only muffles come out. "Shh love, quiet down, you're okay." Harry immediately stops moving and stops screaming. 

Harry knows that voice, he listened to that voice for over 10 years. He listened to the voice calm him down from panic attacks, calming him and pulling him out of attacks. He listened to the voice sing to him at night to cheer him up. He listened to the voice say 'I do' to him in the alter in front of their friends and families. The hand slowly lifts off Harry's mouth and watched as it reached over to the lock of the bedroom door then slowly trailed itself to Harry's abdomen, it rubbing circles on his stomach. Harry gasps once more and slowly turns around, coming face to face with the one person he never thought he'd see again. 

"L-Lou?" He whispers.