Can't Let Him Go||L.S.

Ending #1(Sad)Pt.1

Harry's doing worse, it's been a couple of days, 8 to be exact since the boys coddled him on Christmas day. 8 days since he lost his Lou all over again, he went deeper and deeper into a spiral, back to not wanting to get out of bed, though the day after Christmas, he made sure to get out of bed and wrote his letter to Louis. The boys didnt question him being over at his desk, at least he got out of bed for a little while. Liam and the other boys came to check in on him here and there, feeling even worse now that Harry went deeper into his head once more, just like right after Louis passed. 

Today was Tuesday once more, January 2nd, he sits at his desk, holding his pen in his hand, scribbling on paper after paper, 11 notes to be exact. He folds all of them, but one, and slips them into labeled envelopes, one by one to make sure they go into the right envelopes. He stacks the 9 envelopes, neatly in order on the middle of his desk, placing the one that he didn't fold next to the stack. Then goes to his bed, retrieves the box from under his bed, and slips the envelope labeled Louis into the box, sliding it back under the right side of his bed. 

Harry quickly jumps into the bed, tucking himself in and closing his eyes as he hears footsteps coming down the hall. Soon enough, Shawn lightly knocks on the door, not receiving an answer, he cracks the door just enough for him to peek his head in. He sees Harry coddled up into his covers, light breathes huffing through his thin lips, his chest rising and falling slowly. He stops for just a moment, looking at his friend. He may have come as a latecomer to the friend group but he's treated like he's been there since day one and he feels like he has been there since day one with each and every one of these boys and their families. Harry was actually the one to invite him into the friend group, meeting him in his senior year of high school. He was always so welcoming, and caring and was always there for Shawn so he's doing his best to repay Harry by helping take care of him. He misses the bright and goofy Harry he first met and who was around for years. It kills him to see Harry like this, it kills every single one of them. 

Shawn sighs, seeing Harry's content face as he sleeps, or so he thought, and walks out of the room, gently closing the door and out to his boyfriend and friends, updating them as well. 

Once Harry heard the door close and whispers from the other room, he was quick to turn his tv volume up just a bit, and walked into the bathroom, sobbing as he closes and locks the door, knowing damn well he only has about 20 minutes before one of the boys come in the room and check on. They'll freak if they don't see him in the room, and freak even more if they see the bathroom door locked. See, they know a sense of privacy but they've been on edge ever since Harry showed told them about his burning urges coming back. 

He cries and cries, leaning against the closed door, staring at the silver blade pinched in his right hand, holding it up in front of his face to stare at it. 'This is really happening right now? I'm really about to do this?' That Is the only thing that runs through his mind, tears flowing even harder as he places the sharp object on the bottom of his wrist, hissing as it starts to enter the skin, it hurt so hard but felt so good. Just for a moment, he pulls the blade away and stares at the blood that starts to slowly drop down his palm and fingers, sliding off and splattering onto the floor beneath it. 'I'm sorry Louis, I'm so sorry.' He repeats over and over again as he places the blade where it previously was, digging deeper to which he almost screams but bites onto his lip, stopping himself to whimpers. 

He feels at it cuts through flesh and even important things, the veins. He stands there like that for a moment, staring at it, out of breath. He decides he's ready and drags it far up his arm, almost all the way to the crease of his arm. Harry throws the blade as far and as hard as he could against the wall across from him before walking towards the bathtub, leaning himself against it as he sits down. He's being thoughtful of the fact his friends would probably find him and they won't want to see it, let alone have to push his corpse with the door before getting in. He puts his non-bloody hand up to his face, burying his face into it as he sobs. Soon enough, Harry's head starts to get light, his eyes drooping and popping open, though he just closes them himself, letting the blackness welcome him as his ears start to ring. 

10 minutes later, and 5 minutes too late, though somehow Harry's still breathing. It's faint but he is, he's due to pass at any moment, his body shaking, sweat dripping all over his body, though he wouldn't know. Harry's too far gone, too unconscious, all he sees is darkness... At least that's until he sees Louis' face through the darkness. He cries as he runs to his husband, and he gets embraced by his arms. He's finally and actually reunited with Louis, he's free and he's with his husband, Louis mumbling sorry over and over again to Harry as he watched over him the whole time, and you would think as a ghost, your heart couldn't break or hurt, that's so wrong. 

"Are you sure you're ready to go Love? I can wait for you until you're ready." 

"I'm not leaving you again Lou, we're staying together now. I'm not going back, I can't." 

"Okay, then let's go, Darling, you're not gonna watch what happens when the boys find you. You don't want to see it." Harry's heart drops, he doesn't know what will happen and he doesn't want to picture how the boys will react, that makes his heart break, though he follows Louis, wiping tears off his face, other hand attached to Louis'. That's when their ghost dissolves away, Harry taking his left breath on that bathroom floor, all the boys watching, screaming, and crying as it happens.