Dear Gem-Gem,
Thank you. You have always been at my side my whole life and I'm so appreciative of that. You were by my side every time I came home crying because of bullies, rubbing my back and cheering me on while I came out to our parents, giving me advice when I got my first boyfriend, and so much more. I'm sorry that I can't be by your side anymore, that I took my life. I really hope you understand why I did it. No one pushed me towards it but me. I found the only way out of the pain that conquered me every day.
Stay strong for mom, stay strong for yourself. You're mom's only child again, please take good care of her while she's grieving, and take care of Robin and yourself too. Please don't do what I did, don't pick it up again. I don't want you in pain, I want you to live, I want you to continue and be happy. Find yourself someone who makes you happy, someone that treats you right. Have the kids you always wanted, and follow your dreams. I know you're my older sister and I know you don't believe in the younger dying before the elder but it happens sometimes Gem, just know I love you so much and I'll be waiting for you when you're ready.
I may be with Louis again, and that is what I wanted, it's what I needed. I can't believe I started pushing you guys away but I didn't mean to. The pain just became so hard that I would just stay in bed all day. Gem, I started seeing him, Lou. I started seeing Louis. My brain tricked me into thinking he came back to me but the boys couldn't see him. It was because my mind started playing tricks on me and it became too much when I realized he wasn't actually back. I miss him so much and I need to be with him. I died because I wanted my Lou back. I wrote to him every Tuesday, it took 136 notes for me to finally come to terms with me not seeing Louis again. Deep down I knew he was gone but I didn't want him to be so I kept up hope but I just couldn't do it anymore.
I love you so much Gemma, Don't push anyone away as I did, you need them as much as they need you.
Love, Haz.
YOU ARE READING
Can't Let Him Go||L.S.
FanfictionWhere Louis unexpectedly passes from an accident on his way home and Harry can't let go... He just can't let him go and doesn't want to, he just knows he'll see him again, maybe even soon.
