𝑻𝒉𝒆 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒃𝒊𝒅𝒅𝒆𝒏 𝑺𝒖𝒎𝒎𝒐𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑰𝑰 / 𝑺𝒉𝒂𝒅𝒐𝒘 & 𝑩𝒐𝒏𝒆 𝑭𝑭

𝟒.𝑰 𝑭𝒆𝒆𝒍 𝒀𝒐𝒖..

Grief. You can be the most cold hearted being in the world but when it comes to love, even them would fall to their knees. And when realization hits that you have lost someone so dear, someone that had the ability to touch that cursed, cold heart, you will crumble before all divinity, and beg for them to return. Months have passed, three, four maybe. And not a day has passed on which Aleksander had not recalled the last image of Raven, lying on her back, bleeding and with a deep wound on her shoulder, groaning in pain as she took out the knife weakly out of it, and that horrible cut over her left eye that bled and fell with her tears. For a moment, he thought that she may had reached out for him. When all her strength had left her and she was forced on her knees.  And yet, she felt so distant. He felt that she did not want him near. He had known in that moment, he had seen it in her watery eyes, filled with rage, Raven had died. In that moment, he knew, Aleksandra was born. And he was aware, that he had helped her come forward and come to the surface. He did not know whether it was a good thing, how Aleksandra was like. He only knew Raven.

He would recall the scent of her gentle and soft skin. Or her small, gentle hands, touching his cheek and those sweet, full lips of hers, kissing his that filled him with excitement of a little boy that had felt the kiss of love for the first time. And her skin smelled like roses, and the sweat mixed with it after her countless hours of training. She was, is, his raven haired beauty. A being with such fire and determination within her that when they would confront each other, shout at each other and bicker, even he would not want to provoke it out of her. Even he feared her fire. But he found himself wishing for her to return to him. Just come home. Come back to him. He would prefer her shouting and screaming and yelling at him, being angry with him, hurt him than being without her.

Aleksander mourned her death. And she would haunt him in his dreams and nightmares, and his nights would become longer as he slept less, he would rather face and confront his thoughts and memories than see her in his dreams and see her death over and over again, each night. He looked weary, tired cause of the lack of sleep he gets. The dark circles underneath his eyes showed his exhaustion. And in his process and determination to gather Grisha that will still side with him, he would eat alone in his tent, barely even touched his plate. And remembering her scar on her left eye, he touched the one on his, and though it stung , it reminded him of her. The scar over his left eye was the only thing he has left of her.

Each time Aleksander awakened dripped in sweat and heavily breathing of his frightful nightmare about her, in order to clear his head, he would walk somewhere in the dead of the night. Somewhere in the fields, where the wind rustled the grass and howled in the vast field as if it howled with his heart. He stared into the distance, inhaling the cool air of the night and watch the moon take its form, night by night. And he had written a song about her. For her. Remorse filled his being and he would curse himself at his cowardice for not going back for her within the Fold. For leaving her body behind. And after his grief and suffering, anger would prevail. Vengeance. Anger towards the ones that did her wrong and caused her death. Everyone that had pushed her up to this point. He was angry even with himself.

He found the perfect spot to sit. A slight cliff that rolled down into the field. And he sat down. His elbows resting on his angled knees as the breeze caresses his face and blows his front strings of his hair onto his forehead barely touching his eyebrow. His beard was soaked wet from the sweat and the tears he had let fall. He looked up to the clear sky of the warm yet windy night. The stars shun brightly but not brighter than the full moon that reigned the night and the sky. Moon of my life, he recalled him calling her. She radiated beauty and mystery, she would change her form like the moon did change hers. Raven was alluring and captivating like the moon. And she was the moon in his night. Aleksander sniffed and parted his lips, breathing through his mouth. And so, in the dead of the night, he silently and gently, began singing his little song for her. Hoping it would reach her, wherever she might be.