Keep My Head Above Water #16

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Shuri's mind is in a very fragile state after the events of Wakanda Forever. It's up to you to make sure your girlfriend doesn't let go. 

A/N - I recommend listening to this song for it to make sense! Let me know if the video doesn't work. 

Warnings - Whole thing could be about suicide I guess. Also, I know what it's like to have these thoughts and not act on them. I don't even talk to anyone about it which is probably silly but my point here is if anyone feels this way, feel free to message me. 

To say things have been tough is an understatement. Ramonda has been killed by Namor and another war broke out between Wakanda and Talokan. Now the war is over and for now we are in the peaceful stage before another bad thing happens. I hate to admit it but the next bad thing might be Shuri trying something. Her very aura screams that she is trying to stay calm after all the events and the loss but ultimately the storm has yet to arrive for her. Her mental state is in a very delicate stage. "If I could part the sea and reach the shore, I would use that strength to make sure my mother and brother were here right now. If it weren't for your comforting words y/n, I would have gone overboard long ago." These were her very words to me last night. Which is why I am trying my best to keep an eye on her at all times. Especially when there has been chatter amongst the elders claiming they don't want her to rule Wakanda in her state of mind. 

With everything going on and the way Shuri is, the one thing I keep thinking is, I won't let her drown. I don't mean literally drown but it's obvious what I mean. I hope. But between ruling and being Black Panther and her fragile state of mind, it only gets harder for her. All I can do is be there to help her get through it. Which is why I finally convinced her to go to Haiti and complete the ritual her mother did when T'challa passed. It may be painful to relive those memories but it can let out a lot of emotions and calm things down a lot. 

This has led to right now. The flames burn away at the wood. Me and Nakia both watch as she reminisces about her brother. When Nakia believes Shuri is ready, she introduces her son Toussaint to her. She introduced him to me just now and I believe this will somehow help keep her head above water. All I know it is a relief knowing she has some piece of mind knowing that T'challa is not completely gone. She'll be even happier to know that Ramonda has met him too. 

Now, while this may help her greatly, I don't believe her head is completely out of the water and may never be. But that's okay because whenever she feels herself slipping back under water (again not literally) I will be there to lift her up and dry her off for as long as she needs. To put it simply, I will remind her life is worth fighting for and never let her go underwater. 

Ending this one here. Sorry for the pure angst. I've been feeling depressed lately if I am being honest. There's only two things keeping me going. Marvel and writing my novels and fanfiction. I always feel like shit around this time of year knowing I can never get a girlfriend as well because of my appearance. People have said and the fact that I've never even had one or a first kiss or anything is actually upsetting for me. But I'm learning to accept it. Anyway, on a happier note,  I am taking requests for Shuri, Nakia, Okoye and Ramonda on my tumblr account called awakandanavenger. Don't forget to give these one shots a VOTE too! :)

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