our love | minsung ✗

eight.

「𝙞𝙩'𝙨 𝙘𝙤𝙢𝙥𝙡𝙞𝙘𝙖𝙩𝙚𝙙」

"so much was said in the unsaid"
— bridgett devoue

when minho gets to jisung's school, he waits for him in the car. not because he wants to, trust me, he'd go and look for jisung but jisung had texted him to stay in the car and that he'd be out soon. for unknown reasons, minho listened. he wouldn't have it was just another normal routine of theirs but today he listened because yesterday was clearly not a normal day for them.

minho's leg shook up and down as he waited anxiously for the lad. he watched the entrance doors hoping jisung would just walk out but each time he looked up he'd some other stranger that wasn't at the least, han jisung.

until finally, when minho looked up for what seemed the one hundredth time, han jisung walked out the doors with his guitar in the back of him. minho immediately climbed out his car and walked towards him. jisung was looking at the ground and when he heard minho's breath he looked up, feeling a bit wearily but still able to beam at minho.

"you came..!" jisung cheered, enthusiastic.

"of course," minho breathed out, serenely. "i'll always be there for you," minho added, softly.

jisung noticed the glint of gentleness in his eyes, and he was surprised by the sincerity. jisung didn't know if he wanted to know more about that look in minho's eyes, he couldn't know about it right now. he wouldn't let himself, he can't let himself know the truth behind minho right now. jisung didn't feel like it was the right moment, because he doesn't know if he can say the same thing as minho would say, or feel.

jisung quickly looked away, feeling as if he were suffocating with himself. jisung felt like he didn't deserve to be seen that way from minho. he knew there was something in minho that wasn't the same case for him.

jisung didn't like to feel that guilt because he felt sorry for minho. jisung felt sorry for himself and minho, because what if all jisung wants is minho's attention and nothing else more?

it was times like these that jisung felt like he was drawing a scar in minho's body without even letting him know.
it was times like these that jisung felt like a shitty person because why did minho look at him those eyes?
sometimes, jisung wonder who's really destroying who,
is jisung destroying minho because he just doesn't feel the same way?
or is minho destroying jisung because he still loves him either way?

and for the first time, it felt like they weren't that close to one another like they once were.

ღ

jisung was inside of minho's car, and memories of them together under the dim night were coming into his mind without any warning. minho's breath against his face, and ear. minho's gentle touch on his skin, minho's hands on his erotic cock. minho's kisses on his lips, on his neck, and minho's gorgeous face close to his. all these things are what best friends aren't supposed to do, everything about it wasn't okay, but yet jisung found himself with an after taste of needing more, of feeling delighted about it all. he's ashamed of himself because there isn't a slightest bit of regret.

which he probably should be feeling because he still wants more. more of minho. even when in the end, everything will just go downhill. he won't be able to return those feelings for minho, and minho would still stay by his side nonetheless, reminding jisung of how awful he is.

now jisung wonders if they were actually meant to be friends in the first place.

"where do you wanna go?" minho's voice withdraws jisung away from his thoughts.