Death and Rebirth: Roleplay with TheNovaSwag #2

Chapter 46

M:   The rest of the night went by smoothly, no runaways, no fights, in the morning Neflen was right where he was supposed to be, though he didn't look any less depressed.

Mandoria and Rowen weren't sure if they should go check on Johann, they weren't even sure why he wanted alone time. Eventually, Rowen decided he would bring his son breakfast and see if he wants to open up in privacy.

He got together Johann's favorite, felwen moltean from back home, he also couldn't resist getting some for himself. Carefully climbing up the stairs to the attic, he sighed when he saw Johann sleeping on the couch alone, so he set the trays on a nearby dresser and gently rubbed his son's shoulder.

"Wake up my Finzenda, I made you breakfast," he whispered, "is everything ok, you looked upset yesterday."

N:   Johann slowly opened his eyes to see Rowen, but he didn't comment on what he said as he sat up on the sofa. Grabbing his tray, he quietly thanked his father and he ate his breakfast, his usual mood gradually coming back the more he ate, but it wasn't enough.

After a couple of minutes of silence, the Mandorian couldn't stop thinking of a particular question, so he stopped eating and set down his utensils. "Hezyka," he spoke quietly, still looking at his plate, "am I a disgrace?"

M:   Rowen was eating right next to him but when he asked the question he nearly choked on his food.

"Johann, why would you even think that," he asked, genuinely surprised and concerned, "you are the bravest, toughest, most kind-hearted person I have ever met, and I'm not just saying that because I'm your father. Who on earth put such a ridiculous thought in your head, I'll show them a thing or two, mark my words."

N:   "It's just ... it's just what Neflen said to Josef," Johann mumbled, "and I know that I shouldn't have listened to what he said but ..."

He sighed as he put his tray back on the dresser and rested his elbows on his knees, and he stared at the floor as he continued. "But I ran away, and I left everyone behind in Saxony and I was able to start a new life, a good one, while I abandoned them there, and they thought that I was dead. I didn't think about helping them, while I lived in safety with you; I didn't think of contacting them when I might have; I didn't know if they were alive or not. At least Josef died for someone he wanted to protect; I just got lucky and ran."

M:   Rowen's face turned from concerned to frustrated, he took ahold of Johann's face and forced him to look him in the eyes.

"Now you listen to me young man, don't you ever take that crap to heart," he said firmly, though there was no sound of anger in his voice, "Neflen was sleep deprived, desperate, and not in his right mind, he never meant what he said, and even if he did it does not apply to you. You were just a twelve-year-old boy with absolutely no knowledge of fighting or warfare back then, even if you stuck around you would have a very slim chance of surviving those trials, you saw how many graves there were of families that failed."

He pulled his son into a hug as tears started to fall down his face, "You did the smartest thing by running away, sure some families survived the initial attack, but who knows how many perished before Prussia decided to spare anyone. You calling yourself a coward hurts me more than anything Prussia did, you are far from a coward or a disgrace, and I don't want to ever hear you say that about yourself again, understand?"

N:   Johann just sat there, listening to what Rowen was saying, and he was surprised that the other was crying, so he hugged his father back and nodded. "I understand," he assured his father, and they just sat there, surrounded by each other's embrace.