This Boy | j.l. [complete]

Chapter 10

      I wanted to walk away. Show him I didn't care, but I also wanted and explanation. Why, who and how are my only concerns right now. I obviously couldn't compare to her, men prefer blondes anyways don't they? She was everything I wasn't. That's why he wanted her.

"Who is she?" I asked biting my lip

"Her name's Marie, we had sex a few times before I left for Hamburg and before I met you, she wanted to tag along with me tonight, nothing else had happened," John defended

"Do you do this often, let girls you've had sex with hang around you all the time? Is that all I was?" I asked sniffling

"No not at all, you're more then that Ruth, she just...," John trailed off

"What I thought," I huffed as I turned to walk away, but John caught me and spun me around holding me in place with force.

"Listen, I love you I do but-"

"You get bored easily," I interrupted "I should have know I wouldn't be enough for you, nobody is enough for you John. All you want is sex and a pretty face, I'm sorry that I have more to offer then that," I spat

"I know you're more. You're what I want Ruth honest," John assured

"I know I'm not, so don't patronize me with your petty apologies. I'm sorry I'm not a blonde sex icon, or a beauty queen idolize by millions of men," I shook myself loose from his grip as he stood back, assuming he surprised at what I said

"I know you're better, I wouldn't take a chance on you if I didn't love you," John protested

"Right, take a chance. You honestly think you're so smooth, well guess what? You're not, I'm tired of thinking I'm not good enough John. Make up your goddamn mind," I argued, "I should have known you would do this."

"Please don't say that, I love you" John wrapped his arms around me holding me close, I struggled to get out and I wanted for him to let go but there was not use in it, I held on and cried in his chest softly.

"John!" Yelled Paul, John just turned his head shifting his body slightly

"What Paul?" John asked

"Marie is on her way over to you," Paul huffed while catching his breath

"John?!" Screamed a girls voice, I assumed it was Marie

"I'll handle it," John sighed, he walked over to Marie and Paul placed an arm around me,

"You alright?" he asked

"Yeah, I'm good, really fucking upset, but good." I coughed wiping a tear running down my cheek

"Listen love, John fucks up a lot, everyone does but honestly nothing was gonna happen. John really does love you." Paul sighed and I just buried my face on his shoulder

"You're kidding right?!" I heard Marie scream

"No," John said simply

"You're pathetic John, leaving me for that emotional mess, she's barely a girl let alone a woman. John you've fallen for a cry baby, you're making a mistake," Marie snapped

"Firstly, that cry baby happens to be my baby. Secondly my biggest mistake was you, and you're no better, to much drama in one person for me, so I'll stick with my baby if it means I get to escape the witch that is, Maris Sullivan," John smiled and walked back over to me and Paul

"You'll regret this when I'm a famous actress and you're still playing in beaten down clubs for next to no money a week, then you'll be crawling back to me just you watch Lennon!" Marie

"Shove it up your ass Marie," John yelled back

"Ugh!" She screamed then stormed off

"Come 'ere," John casually pulled me from Paul and hugged me tightly, he buried his face in the crock of my neck and kissed it softly

"I'm sorry, I fucked up, I love you" John mumbled against my neck, then kissed it again, I held on tight to John snuggling into his body having the smell of cigarettes, alcohol and cheap cologne surround me. I guess I just gotta try harder to keep him as mine.