yet again ANOTHER one of those everything books.

big old house

i know, kinda boring; "Moogee, your just talking about your first house!!"

but this house has a ton of memories! and they make me happy, so i want to share them with you! 

so, to start off, like ANY house, it wasnt all ups

like alot of bad things happened, but it doesnt stop me from talking about those good times!

one of the first things i remember of the house, it was HUGE!!

it had 4 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms (both of which were DEADLY to go in after a hearty meal), this big garage that always smelled of dogs, a long hallway area, then the dining room with a door to the kitchen, it was perfect to play tag through! this nice big walk in pantry; me and my brother hid in there all the time, a nice sized living room, and probably my favorite part, the really REALLY big backyard. or it was just big to me...meh! 

for a long time i slept with my mom, my sister had a room, my brother had a room, and one of my aunties or whoever came over had the spare room. well, after my sister and brother (temporary) moved out, i would visit the other rooms, but my sister's was turned into a room for storage and my brother's was off limits. what small child wants to be in a room where their teen brother had cool...everything, but it smelled like a chuck e cheese all the time!? nope, for years, even into double digit age, i slept with my mom and prayed i would get my own room someday.

i did at my dad's house, but i never fully stayed there with him, it was for visits. im still, now sharing a room. 

anyway! a memory i have (well i got tons of them!) was doing the Cupid Shuffle with my brother in the long hallway. me and my brother didnt have the best relationship growing up, we hated each others existence for a long time! his reason, i was the youngest and fucking annoying, mine, i dont remember, maybe because he was annoying and older. we both were huge daddy's kids too, but then i became a full mommy's girl and that was before our relationship strengthened. anyway, a big part of the hallway, it was long and scary at night, and it was slippery tiled. Cupid Shuffle came out before i was born or after, it was in 2007, my birth year though! i dunno, one day he just turned it on on his phone and started dancing. i think i joined or he invited me, but there we were, an annoying spongebob toothed one digit, and a humble, daddy issues teen who never really looked happy, dancing in socks and simultaneously building a good relationship! 

ooh! i also remember, in my mom's room had a glass door leading to the backyard, and sometimes in the summer she would open it and risk all the flies and stuff...anyhoo! our backyard always had super long weeds. now mind you, at this time i was a one digit, and super short. so the weeds came up to my chest at the most! i would always pick the weeds because itd be the ones with the small, yellow flowers on them and dandelions? i would say "here, flowers!" and my mom would say "those are weeds." and its back and forth. to this day i still call them flowers. 

i used to get hurt alot as a kid. i mean, alot. sometimes on my bike, but i remember a time i scratched my face up kinda bad on my scooter. im glad superman dad was always there, but jeez man, peroxide stinks and feels weird. 

also, on the topic of outside and hurting myself, the second best thing about my old house, there was this big tree in the front, and really, i think thats where i got hurt alot too. i mean think about it, a small child climbing up the highest, sturdiest branch and hanging upside down. sometimes i would just jump, because i was a bad fucking kid, and had alot of suicide attempts without trying to. did i ever tell you when i was a baby i ran into the street in fucking traffic and either my sister or brother had to get me? tell me thats not a suicide attempt please. 

i used to see demons. no, im not talking about like, red eyed demon sally face demon, just a regular demon, or dead person? i remember her being in a white gown, eyes and mouth wide and pitch black, and scary wrinkly hands. my mom says someone died in the house before we moved in years ago. i would also frequently see her in my favorite tree! she was linked to it i believe, anyway in like 2019 i told my brother that i seen her alot in our old sister's room, and it turns out he seen her too, and apparently my oldest niece did as well! the ghost lady was said to not like babies, because when my niece was left in that room, she would start crying out of nowhere! so now im sure everyone but my mom knows of her (thank god, bc she was a christian)

on the topic of spooky stuff, lets talk like kindergarten. this was back when my mom and dad were married, slept in the same bed. i would join them sometimes, but i had my mattress in the front of their bed close to the tv, too. that was also straight ahead of a two sink area with 3 mirrors, and then by those sinks was a walk in, filled to the brim closet. having that as a vision and a huge imagination, i would wake up to my dads COMPLETELY TERRIFYING BTW ringtone, and when it started playing i would imagine Ghostface, deadass, walking out of the closet with a knife slowly towards me. not to mention it almost still looked dark out because it was 6 am, so yeah...very spooky. told my parents about it, my dad just suggested we clean it and pray about it! 

oh, and kindergarten/1st grade era was awesome. lots of singing, i remember throwing up on the abc rug, in first grade, because of my religion i said i was allergic to pork (bc i didnt know how to say it was because i was a christian) but the second lunch option wasnt good soooo...i ate something pork and literally felt sick. i dont know why i did. but living and visiting my sister, she didnt care about eating pork so i ate it more and more, i dont feel sick eating it now. i remember having a breakdown because my k-teacher wouldnt give me a hug, literally that was it, and either the next day or a few weeks later i was deadass singing "i dont give a fuck about you" by Big Sean under my breath in line to lunch. broke my big ole heart. >:[

then, speech therapy. i watched Frozen for the first time with her, played Go Fish (i actually havent played it since then), and i originally went because i said 'um' alot in my words. i think i need to go back, now my stuttering is the worst thing to have happened to me, 'um' came back, and yeah. and yesterday, my teacher said my voice makes me sound like a leader, i speak almost professionally and etc, but i sound like Fungus, Randall's sidekick in Monster's inc!!! 

uh that doesnt really cover everything, like at all, theres so many more memories from that old house, buuuut i gotta hop off my computer. so, morals?

no seriously, that speech therapist needs to come back into my life, pork totally made me feel like throwing up or it was undercooked, Ghostface really terrified me thats why that mf isnt my top favorite, i forgot to mention that house got a rat infestation in some point and i played peekaboo with one of them, he was humanely trapped in those sticky traps and set free or something probably not, that old ghost she really said 'im pro baby', they are NOT weeds theyre flowers, also i once said 'but you smoke weeds, these ones have flowers' and idk if it was out loud or in my head but if it was i hope i was smacked upside the head💀, i still like doing cupid shuffle, and i love how upset Riku is in that picture.

okay uh uhhh

bye bye!!