When I Look Into Your Eyes (An AU Heartstopper Story)

16 - it's going to be okay

"Nick?"

"Hmm?" Nick responded.  

"It's okay. I mean...It's going to be okay. I'm here for you." Charlie whispered lovingly whilst still holding Nick. 

"Yeah, I know," Nick said before giving Charlie a fake smile. 

"I think it might be a good idea to start heading home." Charlie continued while he stood up. "Your mum's probably waiting for us." He took the umbrella and reached out his hand for Nick to grab. "C'mon, let me help you stand up." 

Nick took his hand and pulled himself upwards. He looked around to check if he'd taken all his belongings with him, before walking down the stairs and joining Charlie under the umbrella. The yellow and blue-coloured umbrella reminded him of the day he ran towards Charlie's house and ended up being soaked. He was so scared that day. He thought he'd messed everything up. Kind of like how he's been feeling lately. But that day ended up being a great day, so why won't that be the same case now?

-

"You didn't answer my texts," Charlie stated, breaking the silence. They'd been walking for 5 minutes now. Usually, they could easily go hours without speaking to each other, but right now it felt weird. It felt a bit awkward. "Oh, yeah. I'm sorry. My battery died. I didn't know you texted me."

"It's okay," Charlie said. "So... Are we gonna talk about why you walked away?" 

"Oh, uh." 

Charlie lowered his pace and took Nick's hand. Which made both of them stand still. "Look at me," he said. "I know you're hurting. I can see it. And I know you probably don't feel like you can tell anyone because you don't want to be a burden. And you probably feel like you can't tell me because you don't want to bother me or make me spiral back into any old habits. But I need you to know that I really care about you and I'm worried about your mental health. I don't want what happened to me to happen to you, I'd never forgive myself for that. So I need you to tell me what's going on inside that head." Charlie said, whilst putting his hand on Nick's cheek. "I know it's hard, but it'll help to get some things off of your chest. I promise you're not bothering me in any way whatsoever."

Nick didn't know what to say. He was a bit taken aback. So he pulled the signature Nick Nelson move and wrapped his arms around Charlie, pulling him into a hug. They were lucky that there weren't many cars driving around town on Sunday mornings. Because they were standing in the middle of a road for at least a couple of minutes before Nick loosened his grip and started talking. 

"I really wanted to tell you. But there's this voice in the back of my mind that constantly tells me that I'm making things up and that people will find me weird once I tell them how I feel. And I know you wouldn't, you know, think that, but still." 

"Oh, Nick." Charlie took his hand and as they slowly started making their way back home again, Nick began to carefully explain what had been going on with him.