SPELIVIA 2 ?

i miss you

I hesitated writing a chapter or story about this because I didn't know how it would come out. But hopefully I tried my best with this one. May Billy Baker rest in peace and we will miss him dearly.

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Billy Baker.

A death no one saw coming. A death that shocked all. A death that broke all.

The Baker family, including Spencer and the gang couldn't wrap their heads around Billy being gone. Especially Spencer. He had issues with him beforehand so, with him being gone, he feels the most guilt. The voice message was the last thing he had of Billy, and it told him he was sorry.

Olivia, Jordan and Laura were distraught. To think he was fine when they either spoke on the phone or seen him physically, and then be gone moments later, it was just devastating. They didn't want to believe he was gone.

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Liv was in her room, tears falling down her face, holding onto a picture of her and her father. She just sobbed and sobbed until no more tears were left. She felt the most broken. With their relationship being developed and her wanting to share her journalism achievements to him, she felt empty not being daddy's little girl anymore. It's only been a few days since Billy's death and she hasn't left her room. She didn't want to anybody, she didn't want to eat, she just wanted to be alone.

"I miss you dad. I miss you so much it hurts." Olivia chokes out. In the zone, she looks around her room. Until, she sees something that catches her eye. She crawls down near her dresser, finding the blue bottle she had when she was drinking during the summer. Flashbacks and memories come flooding into her mind as the word 'relapse' comes back.

The feeling came back again. The urge to sniff or take a sip. Her hands trembling, her tears slowly falling down in fear and confusion. She didn't know what to do, even though she's trying her best to resist.

Come on Liv, don't do it. Please don't take a sip. You've been through too much to go through this again.

Her breathing quickens, her eyes pop out in immense fear. She suddenly pants out loud, throwing the bottle away. She then gets up, to sit down on her chair, with a knock coming through the door.

"Go away!" She yells out. But the person she sees, obliges to.

"I would but you know I can't do that."

Spencer walks in, immediately having Liv calm down a bit. Even with so much going on, she always knew he found a way to make her feel sane.

"I just got here and felt the need to be with you."

"Well, I appreciate it but I'm fine."

"I know you're not. Hell, I'm still gripping on it."

"Spencer, would you just-- go please? Don't you have somewhere to be? How come Alicia hasn't comforted you yet?!" Olivia asks angrily, all of a sudden. Spencer deeply sighs, knowing she was hurt. In this moment, he's not thinking about Alicia, he thought about and needed to be with Olivia. He needed her, just as much as she needs him.

"I need you... Olivia. I don't care how many times you want me out of here. I'm not leaving your side. I will be here for you, Jordan and Mrs. Baker for however long you need me. Just know that I'm always here. I'm always here, Olivia."

And that's when the waterworks came in. She sobs, holding her hands to her face with Spencer immediately hugging her. His arms wrapped around hers, letting both of their emotions go free. She knew he was right. She was just too hurt to admit it.

"I'm sorry Spencer." She cries out.

"Don't apologize. It's going to be ok. I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

She wraps her arms around him. "I miss you Spencer. Please don't leave me." He quietly sniffles, trying hard not to cry. He tightens, not ever letting go of the person he loves.

"I miss you too. Not a chance in hell am I ever letting go."

"Good." She replies.

Silence brews for a few seconds before Olivia tearfully saids: "I can't believe he's gone. My dad is really gone." Spencer tears up, trying his hardest to not let them flow down. "I know. It's so crazy to even think about."

"I told him I loved him, and then he didn't come home."

"I told him I needed more time to figure things out, and then... he's just..." Every word that comes out of him, a tear starts to slowly fall down Spencer's face.

"Gone." They both say in sync.

Another few seconds fly by before Olivia admits:

"I saw my bottle." Spencer looks at her, still holding onto her. "What are you talking about?"

"The blue bottle I had... when I started drinking during the summer..."

Immediate worry came on Spencer's face. He didn't want to think of the worst right now when it came to her and her sobriety. "Olivia..."

"Don't worry, I'm not relapsing. But at that moment, it was hard to resist." She chokes out, with Spencer keeping quiet, listening to every word. "I feel numb. I feel... so empty. I don't think. I've ever felt this much pain in a very long time. I saw the bottle and immediately, memories came back. The feeling and urge to take a sip came back to me again. And my mind and my body was fighting. It was fighting so desperately, to not take a sip. Because it wasn't worth it. But it felt like it."

Spencer nods, again just listening. "Spencer, I'm sad and scared. I don't want to go down that route again. I don't want to disappoint him or anybody..."

"Hey." He speaks up, gripping onto her. "We're not going to let that happen. It's all going to be ok, I promise. Like I said and I will keep saying, I am right here, whenever you need me ok? I promise you, you're not going to relapse. I'll be damned if something were to happen to you while you were--"

Spencer's voice cracks, making Olivia cry. She saw he was about to break, having the feeling of pain being brought to him. "I don't want for you. Ever. Especially now."

"I know Spencer. I promise, I won't relapse. Swear." He nods, giving her a forehead kiss, holding onto her until they felt the need to let go, which was probably going to be the entire time until the funeral.