Supernatural Season Three: A Dean Winchester Love Story

Malleus Maleficarum (3)

Malleus Maleficarum (3)

Kylie's POV

Laying on the motel bed, staring directly up stained ceiling I lay awake, my mind playing over the case today. 

Witches weren't exactly the most fun to mess around with, especially the dark ones who play around with animal sacrifices. I didn't show it at the time, but the sight of a hanging decapitated rabbit made me sick to my stomach. With the mixture of blood and maggots that I had seen through the night, I was surprised that I was able to control my stomach contents.

My body was on edge, bolts of energy making my leg jitter against the motel mattress. Sam had huffed through out the night before eventually falling into a deep sleep. I was jealous, I wanted to fall into the dark abyss of a dreamless sleep.

I glanced at the neon letters once more, a frown tugging at my lips. Had it only been ten minutes? Suddenly, the quiet room was too loud. Dean's snoring sounded like it was directly in my ear, and Sam's rustling sounded like sandpaper against the rought sheets.

"Jesus." I whispered before forcing myself to sit up, my fingers tapping against my legs. I didn't feel like sleep was an option for me tonight, not for a while anyway. I looked around the room hoping to find something that would make me tired enough to crash. 

My eyes landed on a stack of books, ones that I've probably read before, but I guess there was no such thing as too much studying. I tried not to gag at that thought as I pushed myself from the bed quietly, I tip toed over to my bag pulling in search of sweatpants. Maybe a little night air would help relax me.

As I dug through my bag, pulling out one of the more comfortable pair of pants, my eyes caught sight of my purple journal. It had been a while since I had read through the pages. Letting out a heavy sigh, I pulled on my sweatpants over my shorts before taking the notebook in my hand and heading out the front door.

The night air was cool, knocking away any humidity that covered my body. It was nice and relaxing providing a fresh scent that I couldn't get in the motel room, no matter how clean this one looked.

I looked to my left and saw a small porch swing near the motel office, making my way towards it I let my fingers rub over the fuzziness trying to get a feel of my child like mind. I sat down and let my body rock with the swing, it was soothing. My body relaxed as I made myself comfortable, my hands pulling open to the page I had marked.

Dear diary,

John has been gone for a while now, longer than he has been since I joined the family. It made me sick to my stomach. Dean denied that he was scared, but I could see the look of fear in his eye every time he looked at me. I listened to him pace back and forth and night when he thinks we're asleep. I feel bad that there is nothing I can do to ease his pain. Dean has done a lot for us, I wish I could help him. The only use I have been was keeping Sam preoccupied. We worked on homework together, Sam was way smarter than me. It was actually cute to watch the boy work. Hopefully John comes home soon before I can't distract Sammy anymore and before Dean becomes too agitated. 

I let out a breath, my brain searching the depths of memories that I had stashed away. John had been missing for long periods of time, but this was the first time he hadn't updated us on what was going on. I remember a prepubescent Dean pacing holes in the carpet and Sammy excited to show me things he did at school that day. He was still in elementary school at that time and I played the motherly role even though I was barely a woman myself. 

Why did I bury these memories?

"Hey."

I glanced up to find the older Winchester heading in my direction, his face looked even more perfect under the moonlight.