𝐑𝐄𝐃 𝐋𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒 - 𝐛.𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧

sixteen

I woke in a comfortable bed, a bright light shining above me and paintings adorning the walls. I turned my head to where Bitna's hand held mine tightly as she lay asleep, her black hair messy, tangled and there was a small cut on her cheek. I tried to push myself upwards, wincing at the pain.

Bitna stirred, giving me a weak smile. "You're awake,"

"Yeah, how long was I out for?"

"A couple of hours, Chan's been guarding your bed all night, but Minho's forced him to do some interrogation," There was a pause as she regarded the Consigliere for a moment. "He thought I would want to stay by you,"

There was a certain softness in her eyes when she thought of Minho. Perhaps they would get along.

"How are you?" I asked, eyeing the cut on her cheek.

She shrugged. "Better than you," She shut her eyes. "I'm sorry for getting mad at you, I shouldn't have said those things, not when that could've been our last time together,"

I gripped her hand tightly against my body. "No, you had every right, it's your life that's on the line. But I don't want us to argue,"

A look passed over us, and I knew that we'd forgiven each other. Her lips twisted in the grin that I knew her for. "I better tell Chan you're awake, or he'll be very pissed indeed,"

She retreated out of the room and a few moments later, my husband appeared. I couldn't figure out what he was thinking and I relaxed in his touch as he pressed a kiss to my forehead before taking a seat, holding my hands with a tight yet gentle grip.

"How are you feeling?" He asked. "Do you need more morphine?"

"Yeah,"

He took the syringe, careful but firm as he pushed it in, chucking it into the bin once he was finished, but not once did he let go of my hands. He looked exhausted, as though he hadn't a chance to be relieved.

"Are you okay?" I whispered softly, cupping his cheeks as he leaned into my touch.

"No," He stared at me, his dark eyes swirling with the darkness that I'd seen so many times now. "I almost lost you, Nayoung. The bullet hit your shoulder, and you passed out from the loss of blood, it was very lucky. Doc says you'll be healed quickly and that you'll be able to use your arm like normally again,"

I attempted a smile but the morphine made me feel funny and Chan pressed his forehead against mine. "Don't ever do that again, that's an order,"

"Do what?"

"Take a bullet for me,"

I pulled back, looking at him. I loved him, maybe he didn't feel the same way about me, but I was certain. This man was everything to me.

"I would do it again without question,"

...

It was difficult going back to 'normality'. The bandage on my shoulder was particularly annoying whenever I was taking a shower, and my siblings had all been packed off to Seoul, with Father making a point about safety. But the Yakuza were closing in on Seoul too, no one was safe anywhere.

Chan was sitting on the bed and when he saw me struggle to put my nightgown properly over my shoulder, he stood immediately to help.

"Why do you keep looking at me like that?" I frowned. "I'm okay Chan, really. Once the bandage is off, I'll be so much better,"

He didn't say anything for a while, instead, pulling me into a hug, being as careful as possible so that he didn't hurt my shoulder. "I almost lost you,"

"But you didn't," I replied. "I'm here and I'm safe,"

"Why did you take the bullet?"

I hated how his eyes seemed to swirl with curiosity, with genuine difficulty of understanding.

"You really don't know?" I whispered as he became still. "I love you Chan,"

He peered down at me, stiff, controlled as though he couldn't understand what I was saying. He pressed a kiss to my lips. "You love me," He repeated as though it was the biggest mystery in the world. "You shouldn't love me, Nayoung. I am not a good man, I am the monster of Daegu," He smirked slightly at the nickname. "They respect me, admire me, but love? No. I kill and I torture and to an extent, I love that, I am considered a psychopath by society, that's the man you love?"

"It is a part of you," I breathed. "I can't stop loving you, Chan,"

"But you said that you hated loving me,"

"Not anymore. No one said you're a good man, I won't deny it because you're right, by society's standards, you are pure evil. But to me," I pressed a kiss to his nose. "To me you are good, the only one in the world that I want,"

"You didn't want me," Chan shut his eyes. "This was a marriage that you had to accept, it's not like you wanted me,"

"You're right, but there are very few good things in our world, and it turns out that you were one of them," 

"I'm not good," He said with a sort of desperation.

"You are good to me," I said fiercely. "I feel safe with you, you are everything to me and I don't know why I love you, but I do,"

My husband shut his eyes, looking as though something was tearing him from the insides. "Love is often a weakness in our world,"

I said nothing but I gripped his arms tightly.

His eyes opened and the darkness was gone, instead, protectiveness and emotion danced within them. "But I don't care because loving you is the one thing that makes me feel alive, the only thing that is pure in this blood-stained world of ours,"

My eyes brimmed with tears as I cradled his face. "You love me?"

"With every inch of my body and soul," He murmered. "I would burn the world for you, Nayoung,"

I sobbed, my arms around him as he held me. "You need to rest, your stitches..."

I looked at him. "I want to make love with you,"

His eyes flashed with need but he restrained himself. "You're still not in a good condition,"

My fingers trailed down his torso and his dark eyes were a mixture of desperation and control. "I'll be okay with you by my side,"

He looked at me before kissing me with the sweetness and passion of a gentle lover, but I knew he was anything but. 

...

I leaned into Chan's bicep, my fingers outlining the tattoo, pressing my lips to it. 

"Mine," He murmered, pulling me into him.

"Yours," I returned with a smile.