things i keep to myself

9.

tw for mention of sh

standing in the mirror
someone i don't connect with
my vision isn't getting any clearer
neither are my thoughts is it just a myth

i wish i had a flat chest
the voices are getting loud
i haven't given myself any rest
i need to block out the sound

never really liked who i was
happiness is something i miss
found a blade, wonder what it does
1, 2, 3 the cuts are dismissed

tears and mascara running down my face
blood running down my arms
the words on the note i erase
i have to turn off my alarms

waking up the day after
the blood on the floor
have to fill the room with laughter
they can't know i'm not happy anymore

heart is pounding
my chest is tight
i need some grounding
if anyone asks i'm alright

it's just an allusion
i just wanna be normal
i hate the exclusion
'cause all i'm called is abnormal

god forbid i'm not like others
god forbid i don't fit what's "beauty"
sons with their mothers
my mom doesn't love me even tho that's her duty

there's no way to end this
my life i mean
i'm in a dark abyss
i wish i was eighteen

this poems 'bout done
but there's so much left to say
it's time for me to run
i'll talk to you another day

SOOOOO THIS WAS A LITTLE LONG HOPE YOU DONT MIND AND Y'ALL ENJOYED!