things i keep to myself

11.

yesterday i couldn't get outta my head
today i can't get outta my bed
i don't know what's wrong with me
there's another place i'd rather be

red eyes
i'm not even high
it's all from cryin'
i'm laughin' 'till i'm dyin'

would it be better if i just stopped existing
nobody knows i'm enlisting
'cause if i'm gonna die not by my hands
i'll at least do it on my command

already have so many issues
i'm running out of tissues
don't try to call
you don't need anything at all

i won't answer
tired of being your little dancer
always being told what to do
that's all i've ever been to you

punching walls
could be shooting basketballs
but i take my anger out like him
and i keep my room dim

so nauseous i wanna puke
while i learn to play the uke
it doesn't matter anyway
i'll find another way

the urge to yell and scream
i want this to be a dream
i shouldn't be this mad
maybe i'm not and i'm just sad