things i keep to myself

21.

the fuzzy feeling i only get at night
i have no feelings left to fight
i finally don't feel like im gonna cry
god, i wish i was always high

the funny feeling i get when im alone
and i talk to you about life on the phone
5 hours just talking
your number i should be blocking

my eyes start to get heavy
i get into a chevy
i don't know where im going
in a car with people unknowing

im going insane
i can't feel my brain
where do i go
how should i know

funny feeling in my tummy
i don't think it is yummy
the feeling comes up quick
never thought i would stick

my limbs go numb
god i feel so dumb
every time im with you
my plans don't go through

i look in the mirror
i feel death coming nearer
i just lay there still
finding all but the will

"i didn't know you felt this way
if i did, maybe you'd stay
cause i'll say goodbye
every day until i die."