Always Near

New Family

I wake up, my eyes feel sticky. I walk to my bathroom, and wash my face. My eyes are puffy and I start thinking about crying again. I can't believe I'm not even allowed to talk to my own father! I try to resist tears. My tears have a mind of their own, and flow. I cry until I can't cry anymore. I'm standing in front of the mirror, and my eyes are bright red. I turn on the tap, and splash my face with cold water.

I wipe my face, and start to brush my hair. My hair has a huge knot in it, and I start brushing furiously. I don't care anymore. Pull my freaking hair out for all I care! I feel hot tears coming again. My head is throbbing and I start brushing lightly again. The knot is gone, and my hair feels lighter. My hair is all brushed, and I undress. I get into the shower and start washing my hair.

After my shower, I feel a little bit better. I dry off, and put new clothes on. I braid my hair, and decide to see how much I weigh. Maybe I can judge myself some more, I stand on the scale, and wait for my weight.

"157, not bad, considering," I say out loud.

I step off the scale, and look into the mirror. My eyes aren't red anymore, but I still feel like crap. I continue doing my normal routine, continuously thinking about the other day. I go into my room, and open my laptop. I browse through the web, and look at my email. There is an email from 'ShaiMordoro123', I open it.

It read;

Sent at 8 PM Saturday

Dear Shay,

I know you think you're forgotten, but you aren't. My, our, dad isn't really happy right now. He thinks it's a joke, that he swore you were a still born. He would have kept you, but it's too late now. You're adopted. He smashed my phone, that's why I'm emailing you. I hope you email back, or I'll see you at school on Monday. I really hope maybe you can somehow live with mom and dad. Talk later?

-Shai

I try to resist tears. I need to tell her that I'm not even adopted yet. Maybe there is a chance that I can live with them. I open my email composure, and write her back. I tell her how maybe there is a way that he could fight for custody. Maybe, if they want me, they could. I tell her that I want to live with my real parents, no matter how much I love my foster parents.

I send the email, and I'm off. I go down stairs and make breakfast. I look at the clock and notice it's already 8. It's Sunday and my parents, or rather, foster parents go to church. I left god long ago, mostly, I just didn't have time. My foster parents never forced me to believe in a god, so I never really cared much. I stay home alone while my foster parents go out to church. They leave around 7:30, so I'm alone.

I walk into the kitchen and grab the skillet. I decide to make myself some crepes, maybe that will make me feel better, I hope. I start making the batter and soon I'm almost done. While the batter is on the skillet I grab cream and strawberries. I take out a plate and dish up my crepes. I prepare them and finally, breakfast.

I sit in my dining room and eat. I love crepes, they always cheer me up. I get up, finished with one out of my four crepes, and go sit in the living room. I flip on the TV to The Fosters and start eating more. I enjoy the peace of my show and my delicious food. I zone out, just like in class, and enjoy. Finally, I'm over my crepes and The Fosters is over.

I stand up and walk into the kitchen. I put my plate into the sink and get a glass of milk. I down the milk and place the glass in the sink. I start to feel the depressing reality wash over me again. I resist tears, and for once, I succeeded. I grab a sticky-note and a pen. I start writing.

It read;

'Mom, Dad, I'm going to the mall w/friends. See u soon! - Love Shay'

I grab my backpack, and stuff money and some other things in the bag. I think of what I'll be getting at the mall, even though I'm not going with friends, I want to get myself something. I grab my bus pass and walk out the door, locking it behind me. I walk to the bus stop, and wait. I wait for the bus to come, so I can go to the one place my mind doesn't focus on the bad things.

At least I thought so.