Always Near

New Me

I walk to the line, where the girls line up on one side and boys line up on the other. I walk silently , and can't wait for math class. I try and block out everyone, they sound like they're all making fun of me, even though they aren't even looking at me. I stand in line, and wait to walk in. Shai comes up behind me and stands next to me.

"Hey, you left me," Shai states.

"Oh, I'm sorry," I apologize silently.

"It's cool, hey get a move on," She points as the line is moving.

I walk with her down to our lockers, we grab advisory books, and no surprise that Shai and I have the same advisory. We sit next to each other in the back of the room, and start reading. I hear the clock ticking as I'm consumed in Melody Carlson's beautiful writing. Melody Carlson is my favorite author, and her books relate to me in ways people wouldn't understand.

The bell rings and everyone stands. Mrs. Oak starts placing name cards and Shai and I sit where she places our name cards. I silently continue reading, and I avoid eye contact with Shai, even though she's staring. I put down my book, and look back. I realize, Wait, she has the exact same eye color as me. Shai quickly looks away, and I do too.

The one minute bell rings and most people have flooded into the room. Shai and I avoid eye contact the entire class. I zombie through the class. I learn new things, like how to find the radius of a circle. The class turns boring fast, and I get called on, at least I think I do.

"Shay," Mrs. Oak speaks clearly.

"The answer is 5," Both Shai and I speak at the same time, almost completely in sync.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize I had two 'Shay''s in my class," Mrs. Oak apologizes.

"It's fine, but maybe call one of us by our middle or last names?" Shai suggests.

"I'll discuss with you both after class. Yes, the answer is 5," Mrs. Oak returns to the lesson.

The bell rings, and everyone stands. I pack up my books and start to head out the door, but Mrs. Oak calls me back. Oh, yeah, she wanted to talk, I think.

"Shay, Shai, I'm not sure if you're aware, which I'm sure you are, but you both have the same middle and last names," Mrs. Oak explains.

"Wait, your middle name is Anne?" I ask Shai.

"Sure is. Wait, your last name is Westerman?" Shai looks at me as if I'm insane.

"Yeah," I respond like a mouse.

"You didn't know? It says right here on my computer," Mrs. Oak points to her computer screen, "You both look similar too, minus your hair styles, you're identical."

How obvious! Gee, how did I not figure that out? I feel stupid on the inside, but know that I would have found out sooner or later. Mrs. Oak lets us go, and agrees to clarify which one she is talking too. I'm still in shock. Shai, the one girl I talk to, even if only a little, is my twin? I think in my head. Shai looks to be in shock too, but not as much.

"So, did you have any idea about this? I mean, us being sisters, well, twins?" Shai asks, a curious face.

"No, I had no idea," I look at the ground and feel silenced again.

"Well, it makes sense," Shai nods.

"I guess," We walk out of the classroom, to our lockers.

We open our lockers, grab our binders, and report to last hour. I'm a little excited as I walk through the doors. I have a twin? I can't stop thinking. Sure enough, Shai and I are sitting next to each other. I zombie through class, knowing exactly what's going on, but zoned out. I get called on once again, but this time, Shai answers.

"Shai me, or Shay her?" Shai asks, pointing toward me.

"It says here, S-h-a-i," Miss. Huethal responds.

"Oh, that's me. The answer is Kinetic, Kinetic Energy," She answers, smooth as butter.

"Correct. There is more Kinetic Energy in the Semi, than there is in the Subaru,"Miss. Huethal answers.

I continue zoning, then the bell rings. I want to go home, and ask my parents what's going on. Obviously one of us is adopted, or I have my birth mom not birth dad, or vise versa. I jump up and nearly run to my locker. I pack up all my crap, and dart out of the school. I jump onto the bus (No, not a stupid school bus, the metro.) and ride home. I have a million scenarios in my head, and can't settle on what to say, finally, I'm ready.

I jump of the bus, and start walking to my house. I jog, then start running. Curiosity is killing me, and I couldn't help it. I have to figure this out.

I burst open the door, softly close it, and toss my backpack to the couch. I want to scream. I don't know what to say, other than just "Do I have a twin, Mom?" I prepare for the worst, and concentrate on what I have to do. I go into the kitchen, and start making dinner. I hear the car, and my mind races.

"Home!" My mom calls as she walks in the door.

"Mom! Mom, I have a serious question," I look her dead in the eye.

"Anything, honey," She looks at me with concern.

"Am I adopted?" I struggle to ask.

My mom looks at me in shock, "Why would you ask that honey?"

"Mom, don't lie. Am I?" I push for an answer.

My mom takes a deep breathe, "Yes, Honey, you were adopted, well, technically you're still in foster care. But that doesn't mean we love you any less."

"I knew it! Mom, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you take her in either?" I ask.

"Who is her?" My mom looks at me as if I was insane.

"My Twin, of course," I say in a smart-ass-y tone.

"You have a twin? Where did you find this out?" She asks, surprised.

"At school. Her name is Shai, S-h-a-i. She has my same middle and last name," I tell her.

"Honey, you were the only girl in the foster system, at the time," My Mom looks sad, like she has a broken heart.

"Oh."

I walk to my room, and call the number written on my hand. I want to tell Shai that she is living with our parents. I'm sure she'll love knowing she's the one that wasn't put in the orphanage.

"Hello, Westerman residence," I male voice speaks.

"Hi, I was wondering if Shai was home?" I say in a sweet voice.

"Shai! Come here, you have a call! One moment, what was your name again?" The male voice sounds rough.

"Oh, I'm just a classmate," I tell him.

"Hello?" Shai is on the speaker now.

"Hey, it's me," I tell her.

"Oh, Hey! So, any news?" Shai asks.

"Yeah, you're not adopted. I was the only girl in the foster care place, so you weren't ever in the system, you live with our parents," I say, looking at my pillow on my bed. The one I've had since I was born, probably from my real parents.

"Well, that's good isn't it? Should I tell them?" Shai asks.

"Yes! Tell them now! Say how you've found your long lost twin!" I exclaim.

"Okay! One second," She puts the phone down with a big bang, and I hear voices in the background.

I hear yelling and screaming soon, and feel worried. I hear a big bang, and am terrified. I consider, if this was a good idea after all. What if Shai is hurt? What if she's bleeding on the other line? Then, I hear footsteps.

"Leave my family alone. Forever, freak," a deep voice says, then hangs up.

I start to cry, I don't know why, but I do. I have a twin, and a father who hates me? I feel like crying is the only resort. I walk into the bathroom, and cry. I cry until I cannot cry no more. I take a shower, and try to wash away what just happened. Once I get out, I cry again. I cry for what feels like forever. Then, slowly, I cry myself to sleep.