Untouched Gold / Tywin Lannister / Avalon Targaryen (1)

4. Life and Death

When Tywin left the capital to tend to his wife it hit Avalon hard. They could play house as much as they wanted but Tywin was married. He had a family. He wasnt hers. He never would be. He was just being kind, but Avalon adored him. She had never felt this way before so of course, it had to be with her brothers best friend. 

Johanna Lannister couldn't breathe. She was pale losing too much blood she screamed and screamed. Tywin gripped tight to her hand but the baby's head was too big it was tearing her apart.

'Tywin I can't.' Johanna sobbed

'You can do this. You're so brave, almost there.' He coed pushing back her sweat slicked hair. 'Come on Johanna. Come on. Another push.' Johanna didn't have any fight left in her but the look on her husbands face she had to keep going. What was her alternative? Keep the child hostage in her body...

'God why is this one so... so... argh!' she screamed out again and again.

Cersei and Jaime heard the screams echoing as their hand maidens tried to settle them but they were anxious to see their mother.

'They are hurting her!" Cersei shouted.

"Stop them!" Jaime agreed.

"No my lord and my lady,' the hand maiden assured. 'she is having a baby, it is a loud and messy process.'

'No they are hurting her.' Cersei demanded. 'Tell them to stop.'

"Once the baby comes there will be no pain.'

'I want to see her!" Jaime demanded putting his hands on his hips. 'I need to protect her. I told father I would.'

"My lord,' she coed kneeling before them. 'Once the baby comes everything will be fine. I assure you.'

'Argh!' she screamed out but the child tore her apart. Her panting breath slowed and her eyes flickered open and closed. Blood pooled at her hips.

'A boy.' they declared and tywin smiled widely but the wet nurse didn't look pleased.

'What's wrong?' Tywin questioned and they held him up tywin stared at the child. He was deformed a dwarf an imp. He shook his head vigorously as he took a step back. He turned his attention back to Johanna holding her hand. 

'It's alright Jo, you did so good,' he told her kissing her clammy head. 'Johanna? Johanna?' He stared down at her limp and bloody before him. 'Johana? Wake up.' He was shaking her now but she lay motionless before him.

'He tore through her my lord. '

'No!' Tywin exclaimed. 'No! She cant be gone for the likes of that!'

'I'm sorry my lord,' the maester checked for a pulse but Johanna had none.

'Out.' Tywin demanded

'The child?'

'Out.' He sneered tears in his eyes as he looked down at his wife. Dead. He should have been here more, he should not have focused on the capital on Avalon. He was a bad husband and now she was gone. 

Tywin didn't know how long he had spent staring down at her corpse when Jaime and cersei came running in.

'Mommy!' Cersei shouted trying to wake her, jaime stared down at the blood. At seven years old they didn't understand. Their mother was fine. Vibrant and alive. She couldn't be gone. She couldn't. 

'Mother!' Cersei shouted

'Cersei she's gone. She's dead.' Tywin told her softly.

'No!' She shouted climbing up into the bed she knelt in the blood holding onto Johanna screaming and sobbing to wake up.

'Father?' Jaime questioned

'The baby tore her apart.' Tywin whispered. A handmaiden stood in the door and tywin nodded for them to take the twins. They didn't need to see this. They didn't need this to be the last memory of her. He should have left them at the capital with Avalon, that way he could have said something like she passed in her sleep, peacefully, not a bloody mess that was sure to haunt them. 

Cersei's dress was soaked in her mothers blood as she cried out jaime had to be dragged away he couldn't look away. His feet rooted to the floor as he reached out for her.

'Father?' Jaime murmured. 'No no please no,' jaime whimpered.

The day Tyrion was born, Johanna had died. 

Tywin debated ending things for the little babe, he had even brought Tyrion down to the stream as he wailed out. 

 Tywin had tears in his eyes. He stood in the water, the waves crashing against him. He held the baby out seemingly ready to drop him but he looked down at him one more time. More tears fell from his face. Tywin couldnt do it, this boy was his. This boy was Lannister. Tywin turned around, the baby still in his arms.

He went from regretting leaving her at casterly rock alone to wishing her never left the capital in the first place.