Restricted (Michael Clifford)

'Forever and always'

Michael's POV

I walked to Zoe's dads house while thinking of what to say. He's going to kill me but I don't even care anymore. I wish I was dead.

"Michael! Come in! I've just put the kettle on!" Her dad smiled which only made me feeling worse. We've finally became friends and I've got to pass on news like this, he's honestly going to hate me.

"Where's Zoe? Is she too busy with the babies?" He laughed slightly and that's when I completely broke down into tears.

"She's..." I couldn't talk.

I kept mumbling that I need to man up but she was everything to me.

"Michael...Spit it out" He said facing me properly now.

"Zoe...S-she's...D-dead" I stuttered "She was shot by gang members dad...I'm so sorry" I cried and looked at his emotionless expression.

He started to go on about how much of an idiot I am, that I should never of let him shoot her, that it sound of been me. Trust me, I wish it was.

"I'm hurting too!" I screamed and he shut up "You think I enjoyed watching him place a gun to her head? Seeing her cry? Feeling her shake from how scared she is? Watching her body fall to the floor? Having to carry her body out and have in flown home by a private plane? And do you think i'm looking forward to having to tell the kids why they don't have mum? That girl meant everything to me and you should know that. I can't live without her but i'm staying purely for my kids...You're not the only hurt one" I said and he stood quiet.

"When is the funeral going to be?" He asked.

"Next week" I mumbled.

*

*

*

It was the day of the funeral and I was sitting in the living room getting the babies ready.

Zoe's mum is going to finally come out of wherever she's hiding and come to the funeral.

I've got babysitters for the babies because a funeral is no place for a child.

"Ready Mike?" Calum said walking in with the boys behind him.

"No" I mumbled but walked out with them anyway.

I had my speech that was covered in watermarks from where I've been crying in my pocket and tears already filling my eyes.

The car journey was too fast. It was almost like we flew there because before I knew it we were sitting in the church with the priest saying his words then eventually calling me up to say my speech.

With some encouragement from Luke I walked up slowly and looked at the picture that was near her coffin. She looked beautiful as always,her hair was straight, she had her favorite lipstick on and everything about her just looked perfect.

"Zoe she um...Well she...She was-" I cleared my throat after stuttering.

I scrunch the speech into a ball and threw it to the side of me then took a deep breath.

"Zoe hated speeches, she thought they were always self thoughtful. She said that its never about the person its being read to, its always about the reader, she said that speeches involve way too many 'Me's and 'I's. She said if you're going to read a speech about someone make it about them, not yourself. So that's what this is going to be about...Her. Zoe never took no for an answer, she had to know everything that was happening, she was way too stubborn, she was very annoying at times and a little scary...I'm sure Ashton will agree that she definitely can scare some people...Despite how annoying,stubborn and consistent she always was, she was the most amazing person I've ever seen. She was always so brave and saw the best in everyone. People always say that you know when you've found the one just by looking at them, and I definitely knew that she was the one when I first saw her in English class. Even though I'd annoy her because I was sitting behind her she never said much about it. I remember when we had our first kiss...She was nervous but so perfect. I have to thank her for so much. One being that she's taught me that a person like me can love someone, two being that she has given me a beautiful daughter and another that is just like a daughter to me and three is she's changed me. I used to be some guy that never cared for anyone, I was someone that just wanted a girl for the night not forever, she's made me a better man...Sorry Zoe, i'm talking about myself but I promise my little speech is nearly over...Zoe had this thing over me, whenever she was around I felt the need to step up the mark and be a better man. Zoe, I love you because you made me look forward to everyday and you still do. Knowing I can wake up and remember all them amazing times we shared is enough to make me smile. I know you'll be right by me no matter what." I took a deep breath then walked over to the picture and knelled down to it "I love you so much baby girl...Forever and always" I whispered and kissed the photo.

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a/n

IM CRYING WTF IJSDJOKSD

so uhm yeah if you didn't know already demons is kinda their song and uhm yeh

so the next chapter is the LAST FUCKING CHAPTER WTFFFFFFFF

i love you guys a lot kk???

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