The Stains of the Crown

Chapter Twenty Seven

Trigger Warnings: unintentional self harm, nightmares, dissociation, flashbacks.

The next three days are spent with me avoiding my mates and them walking on eggshells any time I'm around. It would bother me more if I didn't spend most of my time stuck in the back of my mind.

My emotions are nonexistent. I didn't feel connected to my body. Any physical sensations feel... wrong, like my brain can't process them. It would worry me if it wasn't so damn soothing.

Vita had said something about me dissociating. It made sense. But I didn't care if she was right or not. I didn't care much about anything right now. Couldn't feel, couldn't care.

But the night of the third day, all sensation comes back, hitting me like a brick. All the memories stop feeling like a dream, and I remember how real it was. How much everything hurt.

"Echo? What are you doing?" Vix asks softly, frowning down at my ribs. My arms are folded over myself. One hand grabs and scratches over and over at the flesh on my ribs. The pain it causes is comforting in a distressing way. I wasn't sure how long I'd been doing it. I also wasn't sure at which point I'd turned back to hurting myself to control my emotions.

"Nothing," I mutter, forcing myself to stop. My fingers itch to go back to my ribs. She steps over to me, pulling up my shirt. The scar on my ribs is raw, little flecks of blood showing up on the still-purple skin. Several emotions flash on her face.

"No more," she commands lowly, almost threateningly. I nod, pulling away. Jovi and Finley stare in a tense silence.

"I'm... gonna get some air," I mumble, leaving the library.

Finley's POV

I stare in shock at the door until Vix's pacing catches my eyes. Her hands shake at her sides. Her jaw clenches. I can't tell if it's from anger or if she's about to be sick.

"Vix, calm down," Jovi says. It's almost laughable. The expression on her face tells me that she's just as upset.

"She's the one who made that scar!" Vix shouts, getting in Jovi's face. "I thought it was him, but it was her!"

"Why would you be more upset about that than him doing it?" I ask. She turns her rage towards me.

"Because she was in so much pain that she tore her flesh away! He fucked her up so much that she did that to herself! And worse, she doesn't even remember doing it!" I sigh, my heart thudding heavily in my chest.

"She probably dissociated, Vix. Like she has been the past few days. She probably had to block it out."

"And that doesn't piss you the fuck off?" she screams. I sigh, shaking my head.

"No. It makes me sad for her. I hate Mazus, sure, but me being angry isn't going to help her right now." Vix runs a hand through her hair, attempting to take a deep breath. Jovi leans on her knees, looking towards us.

"Echo's confused about something. And sad. I don't know if we should go talk to her." I sigh.

"I'll go. I think you guys should take some time to calm down." They both nod at me, so I walk out. I follow Echo's scent to the gardens. She's laying on the ground, looking up at the stars. Goosebumps riddle her exposed skin, but she doesn't shiver. She doesn't even seem to realize I'm there. "Echo?" I ask softly. She jumps, throwing herself to her feet as she settles into a fighting stance. I put my hands up. "It's just me. You're okay." She takes a deep breath, practically collapsing back onto the grass.

"What are you doing out here?" she asks, her voice revealing just how exhausted she is. She'd slept a lot the past few days, but with how much tossing and turning she'd done, it was safe to say it wasn't restful.