**ON HIATUS** The People We Are Supposed To Be (Boyxboy)

Part 9

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TWs: n/a

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I paced around my bedroom, trying to think. 

It had been about a week since the thing with Darrin and Alec had happened. I still haven't talked to Alec yet. I hadn't even seen him, since it was December Vacation and we were out of school for the next couple of days.

I needed to tell him, i knew that. And i wanted to tell him to, i really did. But i just couldn't think of how. 

I bit my lip as i heard my phone ding, scared of what i would see when i opened the message.

It could be Alec, asking about what had happened a week ago. He could be asking about what Darrin had meant. 

Was i ready for that?

I shook my head, knowing that i couldn't tell him over text. If i was going to tell him, it had to be to his face.

I walked over to my bed and sat down, slowly picking up my phone. I opened the message, my leg bouncing nervously.

Sunflower Boy: hey Columbus are you busy tonight?

Christopher Columbus: i might be, it depends why?

Sunflower Boy: there's fireworks tonight 

Sunflower Boy: i was wondering if you wanted to come with me

I raised my eyebrows slightly. 

Why would he be inviting me of all people to go do something with him?

I didn't really know what to say. Everything in me ached to say yes and not think twice about it. But why would he want to hang out with me, knowing i was hiding something from him?

Maybe that was the point, maybe he thought he could get the truth out of me. 

Or maybe he already found out...

Christopher Columbus: sounds tempting 

I sunk my teeth deeper into my lip, tasting blood drip into my mouth but i didn't care. 

I needed to tell Alec about me being trans. I needed to stop lying to him. And this gave me a perfect chance to do exactly that.

But was i ready for that?

Sunflower Boy: Columbus can u just give me a straight answer?

I laughed slightly, thinking about how funny that was. Since when did i do anything straight?

Christopher Columbus: no

Sunflower Boy: I'll find a way to get it out of you

Christopher Columbus: good luck with that

Sunflower Boy: Chrissss

Christopher Columbus: yes?

I smiled to myself, crossing my legs. I loved our little debates like this. 

Well, i just loved him in general. That was something i was trying to get over for the past couple months but nothing worked. I couldn't change it. I loved everything about him. And the only way to get rid of that was to get rid of him. And no, i needed him here, whether as my friend or more.

But if i wanted to have any chance with him, i needed to be truthful with him. And to be truthful with him, i needed to tell him about how i was trans. 

Sunflower Boy: i'm going to take that as a yes

Sunflower Boy: i'm picking you up at 6 be ready then

I shook my head, still smiling. 

I sat there for a moment, questioning how to say what i wanted to ask him. I typed and re-typed it multiple timed before i settled for something simple.

Christopher Columbus: got it but can we talk?

Sunflower Boy: yeah of course go ahead

Christopher Columbus: not right now later

Sunflower Boy: okay, of course

Sunflower Boy: see you at 6 :)

Christopher Columbus: guess i don't have much choice do i?

Christopher Columbus: well i guess i'll see you then Sunflower Boy

I laid back on my bed, clutching my phone to my chest. 

Half of me was terrified for what was to come. There was so much that could go wrong. I could lose the one friend i had.

But the other half of me was excited. If this went properly, i could finally stop lying to him. And then, maybe in some way, i could have a chance with him.

And maybe, just maybe, we could be more than just friends.

(word count: 658)