**ON HIATUS** The People We Are Supposed To Be (Boyxboy)

Part 10

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TWs: cursing

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I raced down the stairs, hearing the sound of the doorbell.

"Who's at the door?" My mom asked, popping her head out of the kitchen.

"Just my friend, Mom, I'm going to hang out with them. I'll be back later." I answered, opening the door.

"Okay, have fun," My mom called.

I didn't say anything, racing out the door.

"Hey," Alec smiled when he saw me, making my heart stop.

"Hey, what's up?" I asked, closing the door, desperately wanting to get away from here. I started down the stairs, nearly tripping. 

"Not much, here, i have something for you," Alec took his hand from behind his back and passed me a sunflower, his hand brushing against mine.

I twirled the flower in my fingers, lifting it to my nose, smelling it.

"Thanks Sunflower Boy," I smiled, running my fingers through my hair as I stared down at my feet.

"Hey, let me see that smile," Alec ordered, his hand cupping under my chin. He raised my head so he could look me in the eye and so he could see my smile. 

"There we go," he smiled. 

"Oh shut up," I shoved him, trying to stop myself from smiling.

"Fine, fine," he raised his hands in surrender, laughing, "come on, we don't want to be late."

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I sat down in the bed of his truck, crossing my legs and picking at the holes in my jeans.

"So, the fireworks start at 7 so we have about 30 minutes," Ace smiled, leaning against the side of his truck.

"Cool," i nodded, trying to breath.

I knew i was going to have to talk to Alec now. And i wanted to. I was ready.

But i was still terrified.

"You okay?" Alec asked, sitting down next to me.

"Yeah, well-" I shook my head, trying to get my thoughts straight, "can we talk?"

"Yeah, of course,"

"I-" my voice cracked as i tried to speak

"Hey, take your time," Alec reached over, taking my hand and squeezing my hand.

I took a deep breath, tucking my knees into my chest, resting my chin on my legs. 

You can do this Chris.

"Alec, i'm trans," I closed my eyes, my voice barely above a whisper, "female to male. Like i was born female but i'm male. Well, male is a strong term but i'm not female, that's for sure. I think i'm like a demi-boy or something, i'm not sure, i don't really care about the specifics. I just use he/they pronouns and the exact name of my gender, i don't really know. That's what the whole Rachel thing was about, that's my birth name, my deadname. And that's why Darren and everyone calls me that, to get to me."

I buried my head in my arms, not opening my eyes, terrified of what he was going to say.

"Chris," Alec started.

I bit my lip, scared of what his next would be. I raised my head slightly, opening my eyes slightly.

"First stop biting your lip," Alec said, brushing his finger over my lip.

 I did as he said, closing my eyes again.

"Good," His finger dropped from my mouth, taking my hand, "Now first, i want to tell you how fucking brave you are."

"Brave?" I laughed, opening my eyes slightly again.

"Yes! Do you think i could have done that?"

"Yes, you could probably do something ten times as hard as that was without thinking twice!" I exclaimed.

"Yeah, i think you think way too high of me," Alec shook his head, "What you just did was one of the bravest things I've seen, no it was the bravest thing I've seen!"

"I-" I started when Alec's finger pressed against my lips, stopping me.

"I'm not fighting with you," Alec said, his voice serious.

"Fine," I rolled my eyes, pushing his hand away. I tried to stop myself from smiling at the warmth of his skin but it didn't really work and a smile spread across my lips.

"Good," He smiled back, "Now, i'm going to go get us some drinks, okay?"

"Alright," I whispered, nodding.

Alec stood up and started to walk away then turned back.

"One other thing," He said, "thank you."

"Why are you thanking me?" I asked, tilting my head.

"For telling me," and with that he turned and walked away, leaving me to wonder about what had just happened.

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