Deep end |ENG|

• 18 · change

The next day was also the last for us to go to school. We had only one lesson to give the others presents and wish them something good before going back home. Annoying but you still had to come if you didn't want it to be written as your absence.

In the morning, Changbin texted in the group chat, saying he was sick.

Which left me and Minho only.

Of course, I had asked Seungmin if he was coming the previous day - in the group chat though as I was sure he wouldn't read it if I'd sent him a private message. And what a surprise - he didn't respond. However, he did to all Minho's and Changbin's messages.

Taking it as "I might," I brought his gift with me but he didn't show up.

And of course Minho wouldn't even greet me. I actually tried talking to him twice - he was really mean both the times, words sharp, tone harsh.

When the bell rang, he just took his stuff and left, didn't even say anything.

I smiled though, putting Seungmin's gift on his chair and getting my stuff from my side of the desk, bringing it to the one in the middle of the classroom.

"Oh, you're moving seats?"

I looked up to Jongho, nodding my head. "Yup, I am."

He smiled as he was sitting next to that place by an aile. "That's nice," he beamed before checking the time. "Oh, I have a bus to catch. Sorry, I have to go."

"It's alright. Merry Christmas," I waved at him.

"Sure, Merry Christmas," he said back before rushing out of the classroom.

I was left alone.

I went back to take the rest of the stuff as I'm not the person to be taking my study books back home since it's ungodly heavy. Having put it back, my head turned to that desk, eyes going soft.

It's time to move on.

Something in me still wanted to put everything back and pretend like there was nothing wrong.

If you don't do it now, you will never.

I sighed, swinging my bag around my shoulder, walking outside the classroom.

I have to go catch a bus too.

With a weird feeling of both satisfaction and discomfort, I left the school.

I'm still not sure if I want to change "us" into "me and you" though...

Snowflakes were falling from the sky slowly.

I miss the way you felt so close to my bones.

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yoo I just met my family again yesterday! hadn't seen them in almost four months so I was afraid it'd be a bit awkward or tense but everything is still the same (:

also I'm leaving the Netherlands tomorrow. I actually cried on the train when going home from my last shift two days ago. the job of course could've been better but the people there would be so nice to me... I just felt safe and loved and happy there, you know. so it's weird to suddenly leave it all behind again, knowing I won't come back - at least not to that job (I actually want to visit the Netherlands in winter as well haha)

anyways, I'm really tired so I'll go to sleep now. hope this chapter made your morning!
(like ofc it's sad but it's also getting better, right)