ՏTᗴᑭ ᗷᖇOTᕼᗴᖇ

Chapter 27

Seokjin's POV

Namjoon softly lowers me back to the floor and I get flustered trying to get my long hair from my face.

"We were just messing around mum." Namjoon says in a shaky voice I'm sure he meant to have under better control before he spoke.

"Namjoon, living room. Now." Aera states firmly.

I walk back to the counter and grab my plate, turning on the water to wash it. I wash it quickly then tip toe to the hallway to listen to them. Aera is talking in hushed tones but I can still hear her.

"Namjoon I know what your doing and it has to stop." I feel my heart start pounding in my chest. She knows about us.

Namjoon plays dumb. "What are you talking about?"

I can hear Aera pacing back and forth as her heels clicked and clacked along the hard wood floors. Her expensive perfume fills the air.

"Look I know what you're like with your partners, you have a way with them and can make them bend to you. I've seen it a hundred times with you Namjoon. You don't know how to talk to a person if your not flirting with them but you can't do that now. He's going to be your brother Namjoon. Seokjin has to be off limits to you."

Shit. Fuck. Don't tell her about us Namjoon, please don't tell her.

There's an awkward amount of silence before Aera speaks again.

"Namjoon, I'm sure what just happened was completely innocent but these things have a way of developing and getting out of control. If something happened between you then I know his dad would take him away from here. He'd leave me to protect him and I wouldn't blame him."

I knew she was right. Dad wouldn't know how to deal with this so he'd just stop it from happening.

"To be completely honest with you sweetheart, we talked for months before they moved in here because you had so badly bullied the poor boy. His dad didn't want him living under the same roof as you. I was the one who promised him I'd never let anything happen to her, I certainly hoped you'd become friends but not like this."

I hear her walk towards the hallway so I dive back into the kitchen and flatten myself against the cold tiles of the wall where she can't see me. I watch in the reflection of the microwave as Aera removes her stilettos and walks back to the living room.

"I can't lose him Namjoon. After I left your dad I was broken. I had you going off the rails and Jungkook was still a baby and completely dependent on me. I had no support, no family to help me. I felt completely alone. Then he came into my life. He saved me, he made me smile again and feel safe for the first time in my life. He put the shattered pieces of me back together and I wouldn't survive him letting them go again. You have to promise me Namjoon that you'll stop, not just for me but for the poor innocent boy that has no idea what she could be getting himself into. Promise me?"

There is a moment of hesitation and I hear Namjoon let out a large breath.

"I promise."

My heart falls to my stomach and tears fall from my eyes.

It's over.

I feel a black cloak of darkness wrap itself around me and the room draws cold. I should never have kissed him, should never have let him touch me. It was wrong. It was always going to end up like this.

I feel the tears run from my face to my chest and look down seeing the light red marks that are all that remain from my nails digging in while I had the panic attack. I think to how Namjoon held me, how he was the only one who could calm me. I slide down the wall to the floor and the tears pour from me as I realise I shall never feel that sense of relief being in Namjoon's arms brings me ever again.

I feel like I have a concussion from the emotional whiplash the events of the last hour have caused.

I hear Aera talk again although it's hard to through the pounding that is forming in my head.

"Thank you, I know one day you will fall in love with the most perfect, beautiful person and you will understand then how I feel."

I hear Namjoon say something under his breath as she walks away but I don't catch it.

I scramble to my feet and go into the pantry so she doesn't see me. I still can't stop the tears. I wait until she goes out the back door and race out.

I see Namjoon sitting on the couch with his head in his hands but I don't stop. I make my legs keep moving until I flee to the safety of my room.

I bypass the bed entirely and go into the closet. I bury myself into the corner as much as I can. Knowing now that no-one can hear me I let everything out, allowing myself to completely fall apart.

***************

I sit for what feels like forever, I don't realise how long it's been entirely until I step out of the closet and find it dark in my room. The evening has come and there's been no sign of Namjoon.

It's probably a good thing really, I'm not sure I could face him right now anyway.

I go to the bathroom and immediately lock the door to Namjoon's side. I don't want him walking in right now.

I splash my face with cold water until the redness dissipates but my eyes are still swollen, I look like I've had an allergic reaction to the heartbreak.

I look at the bath, my mum always said there was nothing that didn't get better after a nice bubble bath but even that seemed like too much effort right now.

I opt for the shower instead in the hopes the water will run away the hurt that seems to surround me. I open the black bottle of Namjoon's shower gel and inhale the scent. The tears form again and I turn to face directly into the stream of water and allow it to cleanse me.

Dad shouts up to me for dinner just as I'm getting my pjs on. I was going to skip it entirely and go straight to bed but my stomach started screaming at me as I remember I hadn't had anything but half a pop tart since breakfast.

I threw on a t-shirt over my pyjama shorts. It didn't really matter what I looked like, it's not like I needed to impress anyone anymore. I sat for a moment. I know I need to face them at some point.

I get to the kitchen. Aera has made a tomato and mozzarella pasta bake with garlic bread and a large bowl of salad.

I see Jungkook, Dad and Aera ready to tuck in but there's only one more place set, no sign of Namjoon anywhere.

Aera must have read my mind. "Namjoon is out with Yoongi so it's just the four of us for dinner sweetheart. The whole meal is vegetarian, I got the recipe from the hippy girl at work." She was so happy with her efforts and I really appreciated it.

I sat down next to Jungkook and ruffled his hair. He looked up at me smiling, the remnants of my stolen pop tart still in the corner of his mouth.

I helped myself to a big portion of pasta. I put it to my mouth and it was delicious.

"This is really good." I blurted out whilst shovelling more into my mouth. Aera beamed with pride.

"Thanks! I think so too. Maybe we should try do this once a week? All eat a vegetarian meal together? I'm sure the nice girl with the dreadlocks has loads more dishes she could teach me."

I nod as I can't do anything else with my mouth full of food.

"What about for Friday honey? Do you want anything special? I usually just do your basic chips and dips for those kinds of parties but I can get you something else in if you want?"
I look at her with no idea what she's talking about.

"Do you mean Saturday? I thought the engagement party was a sit down meal?"

Aera's fist lightly hits the table.

"That little basta-" She cuts herself off when she remembers Jungkook is in the room. Dad seems to find her sudden outburst comical but covers his laugh with a cough and pretends like he's choking on a piece of bread.

Aera returns to her usual cool and calm composure.

"Namjoon is having a party here Friday night. Jungkook needs one last scan to check his recovery but there's a three month wait in all the local hospitals so we need to take him to all the way to Newland. Namjoon knows I hate being here for his parties so it felt like the perfect opportunity to let you guys blow off some steam while we stay at a hotel close to the hospital. I told him he had to invite you and your friends but apparently his head holds my words like a strainer holds water!"

Namjoon hadn't said anything to me. We'd spent so much time over the last few days not talking I wonder if it just slipped his mind or if he was purposefully leaving me out. I decide to give him the benefit of the doubt.

"Oh the party! He did tell me, sorry I completely forgot. No you don't need to get me anything special but if you do go to the grocery store could you get some more Pop Tarts?"

Jungkook's head shot up at the words. "Split them with me?" he grinned.

I smiled at his big brown puppy dog eyes.

"Always."