ՏTᗴᑭ ᗷᖇOTᕼᗴᖇ

Chapter 12

Namjoon's POV

Why did that have to happen? I can't handle this. I've got to get out of here. I grab  hoodie from my chair as I make my way out. I need to drive. I need to clear my head.

I stop as I pass his bedroom door, I can smell his perfume. It's sweet, delectable even. Why does he have to do this to me?

I can see mum at the front door taking a delivery, It's probably more shit for this party. Honestly, she could marry any fucking guy in this country and she has to marry him. Why him? Why did he have to l be his dad? If she knew how I felt about Jin, how I looked at Jin, what we just did, she'd be revolted. I need out of here. I sneak out the back before she has a chance to stop me, I'm not in the right state of mind to be carrying chocolate fountains and listening to her chatting shit about centerpieces.

"Namjoon Hyung! Do you want to practice? I can keep count of your score!" I look down at Jungkook who's clutching a basketball in his tiny hands and looking at me longingly. He was a good kid, most of the time, he just had awful timing. "No thanks champ." He chases after me and steps back infront of my path. "Please Hyung! Please!" He begged.

"Not now Jungkook!"

Fuck. I shouldn't have shouted at him like that, the kid looks like I just smashed his favourite switch game. Again. This little shit was being a particularly annoying twit that day though. Is it so hard to leave me the fuck alone?

I'll fix it later.

Jungkook was the last good thing to come out of my parents marriage. He might be the only good thing. He just looked so much like Dad sometimes it was hard to even be in the same room as him, it was like having the reflection of the person you hate most staring back at you with a smile. It wasn't his fault but I just needed away from him, from all of them.

I get in the car and race off. I can hear the damn thing beeping at me to get my seat belt on. Won't anything leave me the fuck alone today? I grab my phone and pull up Yoongi's number whilst slipping in and out of traffic. I don't even know where to start,

"Hey Yoongi, I know your a grade A douchebag and I told you to rot in hell last night for what you and the guys did but I desperately want to fuck the brains out of my future brother and need to avoid it so want to come for a ride?"

Yeah. No,

I put the phone back and just keep driving forward. How could I let this happen? I was doing so well until last night. I'd been keeping how I felt about the boy that ruined my life under wraps for years. It was all going fine until last night.

What was Yoongi thinking bringing him there?

Actually I know what he was: thinking. He was thinking it was good pay back for me finger-banging his Homecoming date in the back of his hummer last year. That fucker could never let anything go without getting some kind of revenge. I couldn't blame him. We had a friendship based on competition.

It didn't help his self-esteem that I usually came out on top. He didn't see that I'd swap my life for his any.day.

His mum and dad loved each other and him more than anything. They always put him first and he'd never had to dealt with half the shit I have. He'd never been asked by his dad to keep the kinds of secrets I was for so long. He'd never had to watch as his dad chipped and chipped away at his mum until she was a shell of the woman she once was.

He'd never had to cut down the rope his mum had tied ready to hang herself with. She really was her mother's daughter.

Things got better when she met Hyunjin. He was a good guy and I might have found a way to be happy for them if it wasn't for who he was. He just had to be Jin's dad.

Jin. It was always about Jin.

Jin was innocent. I couldn't let what happened earlier happen again. I wouldn't break him too. I kept driving, not having anywhere to go. I needed to get him off my mind. I needed to stop picturing him how his toned legs wrapped around my body perfectly, how his perfect ass felt in my hands as I pulled him up to me.

I could still taste him on my tongue. I wanted to taste so much more of him. I wanted my tongue to roam every curve of his body. I wanted to have him back against that door, tear his clothes from his body and push myself inside him again and again until he clawed at my skin and screamed my name. I wanted him more than I have ever wanted anything.

Why did he have to look like that?

Why did he have to smell like that?

That day he was attacked he threw himself into my chest, his tears soaking my shirt and all my walls came crumbling down. I had spent years building them up high but now I couldn't seem to find a single brick to start the rebuild.

I wanted him. I had to have him. But I never could. I stopped the car as I pulled up to the white modern exterior I had spent so long avoiding. I don't even know how I ended up here.

I was barely out of my car when the front door swung open and an intimidating figure emerged.

"Namjoon?" came his husky voice.

"Hi Dad."