REMORSE (ENG)

chapter 17

Hearing that his two beloveds hate him, made Kongpob sad. Kongpob realized that he had really disappointed them this time.

Kongpob didn't dare to say anything now. He was afraid of saying the wrong thing and making Arthit even more upset. 

Both of them were silent, lost in their own thoughts for a few minutes until Arthit asked them to go home first and talk about this later. They couldn't leave Arka alone for too long. Kongpob complies with no more words, and they went home in silence.

Once home, the first thing Arthit did was check on Arka. Seeing his son fast asleep made Arthit feel calm. Arthit stroked Arka's hair lightly before he said he would go home, but Kongpob stopped him.

Kongpob asked Arthit to stay again tonight. Kongpob said he had promised Arka that Arka would see Arthit the first time he woke up in the morning. Arthit agreed to Kongpob's request.

Finished cleaning up, the two now sat on the sofa, each holding a cup of warm drink.

Breaking the awkward silence, Kongpob began to tell the chronology of yesterday's events, how Arka went missing, and how Kongpob found him.

Hearing his story, Arthit was shocked. Arthit knew it was all his fault, he didn't think that Arka could bravely go back to the train alone to get his doll. Arthit shouldn't have left Arka alone and should have been more careful with their luggage.

Arthit was grateful that the person Arka asked for help was an officer. What if his son had asked for help from a bad person? Arthit didn't want to imagine. The two now agreed to start teaching Arka about how public transportation operates, as well as how to behave when meeting strangers.

The two continued to exchange stories until somehow they started talking about the past. Arthit tells what happened to him after Kongpob left. 

Kongpob never expected Arthit to go through all that. All this time, he imagined that after his leaving, his senior would be back to living happily as before. Kongpob felt stupid now.

"P'... I'm so sorry. I didn't know you were going through all that-"

"It's okay. I've told you enough about me. Now I want to hear about you."

"I've already told you about Arka. Is there anything else you want to know?"

"What did you do when you first moved here? It must have been hard taking care of Arka alone, right? And how about your studies?"

"That's right... it was hard at first, I didn't know anything about taking care of a child. I didn't know what to do every time Arka cried.

Luckily there was Aunty Rika, when Arka was 4 months old, one night he wouldn't stop crying. Aunty Rika came to the house and helped me calm Arka down. 

We end up bringing Arka to the hospital that night. She probably felt sorry for me, and from there started teaching me how to take care of a baby. I also always asked mom and my two sisters for their advice. When Arka was a baby, whenever my mom or my sisters weren't working, they would always come here to keep me and Arka company.

Mom asked me to continue my studies so I did. My first year wasn't too hectic because some grades were transferred from the previous college. I spent more time with Arka and learned a lot from Aunty Rika until I could finally take care of Arka alone.

Arka started going to daycare when he was 25 months old. I had no choice because at that time my college schedule was getting busier. I couldn't keep relying on Aunty Rika to look after Arka."

"I'm sorry, I wasn't there during those times. Your parents, your sisters, and Aunty Rika helped us a lot. I still haven't thanked them."

"If you're willing, I'll take you to meet them."