REMORSE (ENG)

chapter 9

On the way to his home, Arthit was interrupted by a message on his phone. 

A message that he had to read over and over again to make sure he doesn't read it wrong.

A short message saying that Arthit could meet Arka now. The junior even invited him to pick Arka up together.

After reading the message Arthit was frozen in place, he still couldn't believe it. Kongpob really allowed him to meet Arka? This wasn't a dream, right? After confirming that it wasn't a dream by trying to slap his own cheeks, Arthit now rushed to the daycare location Kongpob had sent him.

When Arthit arrived, Kongpob was waiting for him at the gate. Arthit hesitantly approached Kongpob. He didn't know why Kongpob suddenly asked him to pick up Arka. Now Arthit felt very nervous.

"Let's go in."

Kongpob entered the daycare area first followed by Arthit behind him.

Arthit didn't know what to expect. Would Arka be happy to see him? Or would he cry? Although they had met once, Arthit wasn't sure Arka still remembered him.

Arthit and Kongpob were now in front of Arka's class. Cold sweat began to break out on his palms, Arthit was really nervous now.

He was so happy! In a few minutes, his wish to meet Arka would finally come true. The thing he had always imagined since 3 years ago was finally coming true. Arthit couldn't wait to hug and hold his little angel.

"Arka... Papa's coming to pick you up..." called the teacher, Arka who was busy playing lego turned his eyes to his Papa.

"Papa!"

Hearing Arka's voice made Arthit's heart beat faster. Arthit knew that 'Papa' was meant for Kongpob, but somehow he was very happy to hear it.

Arthit... wanted to be called Papa too.

"Papa! Where's Arka's gift?" Arka, who had just come out of class, hugged Kongpob's leg tightly.

"Papa's friend didn't give you a gift today, dear."

"What's wrong? Didn't your friend go to school? Is he sick?"

"Um... oh yeah, Arka, do you remember saying you wanted to meet Papa's friend who always gives you gifts?"

"I do!"

"Arka said you wanted to say thank you, right? Arka can say it directly now." Kongpob turned to introduce Arthit to Arka, but he found the senior with his back facing them both.

He could see the senior's shoulders shaking slightly. Though he can't see his face, Kongpob knew Arthit was crying now. This was exactly like the time he caught Arthit crying behind the podium during the wrist-tying ceremony after Kongpob finished his orientation.

"Uncle, why are you crying?" the question that Kongpob couldn't ask was said by his son. Kongpob let Arka approach Arthit while he watched them from behind.

"Don't cry, Uncle." Arka took Arthit's fingers and gently swung their hands together.

Feeling the tiny hands that were now clasping his fingers made Arthit feel even more suffocated. Finally, for the first time, Arthit and his son had physical contact. 

Arka's hand felt very small in his grasp. Arthit stroked the tiny hand gently, it felt strange, but also warm and comfortable. Arthit lifted his head up, trying to keep his tears from falling.

"Uncle.."

"Uncle.."

Damn! He couldn't stem his tears, he didn't want to cry in front of Arka but these tears wouldn't stop.