In Too Deep (Dancing With The Shadows)

twenty four

"Did I, or did I not tell you that you were in love," Mabel tests Louis, giving him a quirk of her eyebrow.

Louis leans the back of his knees against the bush behind him that perimeters the vegetable garden they're currently in.

He rolls his eyes. "Yes. Now stop it, you have no idea how much it hurts knowing he's gone," he bites back with a pout, looking down to his flip flop feet. He leans a little too far into the bush, causing the bush to give way and he's falling into it with a yelp.

Mabel's laughter echoes around them, followed by a deeper laugh. A hand is brought out to Louis and he takes it, looking up at Jamie with red dusted cheeks.

"You need to find a hobby, mate, if you keep pining over this Harry fellow," Jamie says, dusting Louis' shoulders off.

Mabel gives Jamie a warning look. "Leave off him, Jam, he's allowed to have feelings. And besides, he is endorsing in a hobby, that being annoying me. He's helping me pick peas." She waves the pea pod in her hand in the air before plopping it into the basket below her feet.

Jamie looks toward Louis with pity in his eyes. "He doesn't look like he's helping much. Just standing and staring."

Mabel shrugs a shoulder. "Got him out the house, though."

Jamie hums in agreement. "True. Haven't seen him for three weeks."

"He's been hiding in his bedroom for the majority of it. Wouldn't come down for freshly prepped dinner."

"What's he been living off of these past few days? Can't be healthy just eating biscuits and pot noodle for however long. And I should know, did that during university and gained two stone."

Mabel mops her sweating brow with the back of her hand. "No idea, darling, seems to me he's been eating pasta or nothing at all. Poor lad is heartbroken."

Louis has had quite enough of them talking as if he's not there. He hates hearing them speak with such pity for him. He doesn't need their pity. What he needs is his Harry.

They've been talking on and off for the past few weeks. The first week after Harry left, they were texting all day and night, FaceTiming as much as possible. Now, they barely even message a single hello. It's mostly Louis doing the messaging. Harry will read them but rarely replies.

Louis hopes it's only because his schedule is so busy that he doesn't have a minute to himself. But there's a part of him that wonders if maybe Harry has moved on whilst Louis stays stuck in the past, wanting and craving Harry to be close again.

"Can you shut up!" Louis screeches just as Mabel is about to open her mouth to talk more about the poor unfortunate soul that is Louis.

They stare at him, eyes wide. He can feel the anger and sorrow bubbling inside, knows it with the way a lump clamps his throat and he can feel the tears welling in his eyes.

"Please, can you stop talking like I'm not here! I didn't come out my room because I didn't want these fucking interrogations and talks about how 'things will get better.' Because they won't! I came out to my dad for fuck's sake! I can't keep being brave enough to move on from Harry, too. Just stop talking about me and find something else to be interested in, because it fucking hurts every time Curly's name is mentioned," Louis snaps loudly, voice creeping higher and higher. He uses his arm to wipe away at his eyes, teeth gritted, cheeks burning.

He turns on his heel before either of them can say anything, and he's stomping away through the gardens back to the house with tears sheering his vision and a heavy heart pulling him down.

He throws himself onto his bed, curls up beside the pillow that has Harry's shirt wrapped over it. It's losing its scent slowly, but there's a small amount left on the sleeves and neck that Louis breathes in, pretending the curly headed boy is still with him. That he is just in the shower or down by the pool writing more songs before he will come back up into the room and snuggle close to Louis until they fall asleep.