Chapter 11 🤍🤍

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Jack wouldn't take the picture down so now everyone thinks me and Finn are dating. But I wouldent mind it.. no Sophie shut up it won't happen.

It's around 4am and the hockey team desided they wanted to sleep so they got blankets and stuff and all made camp in the living room.

I said goodnight to them all and went up to my room. I close my door and feel different. I feel caged but also it feels quiet. A lot happend today.

I really need to talk to Finn. He cut himself twice. And what if he gets addicted? That's all on me that the guys I hated to now... im falling for I guess gone because he self harmed.

I decide I'm gonna text him.

Finn 💚

Me: hey are you still awake?
Finn : ye is everything okay?
Me : can you come up to my room so we can talk?
Finn: on my way.

I am pacing in my room waiting for him then I hear the door open.  Finn walks in.

"Hey are you okay ??"Finn says.

" how did you hurt yourself so easy and why did you do it a second time?" I say geting straight to the point.

He shuts my door and comes up to me. He looks like he is worried. He Grab my hands but I have no clue what he is gonna say.

He sighs.

" this has been playing in my mind and I'm worried that you might do it again." I say.

" no Sophie.. I promise I will never do it again." He says. And he means it.

"How did you do it?" I say.

" I had a best friend called Lila when I was about 13 years old. She self harmed and I didn't think of it till one day.. she was gone.." Finn says and takes a seat in my bed.

I can't talk. So I sit beside him.

" I did it with her a couple times. But the one thing I regret was not thinking about it. And not telling her parents. Because.. now sh-she is dead." Finn says with a crack in his voice.

"Finn.." I say.

" I did it a couple times after she died but nothing to serious. I learned how to bandage it perfectly and nobody knew" Finn says.

I give him a tight hug around his neck and he hugs me back. He places his hands on my lower back and I get butterflies. Wait but what if he thinks I'm fat? Sophie stop Finn is upset stop being selfish.

"Finn I'm so sorry I never knew you had to go the that.." I say. I don't know what else to say.

" so today i did it twist because not only did you self harm but the whole team did" Finn says.

"Where you adicted to it ?" I ask while really worried if he says yes.

" I would only do it whenever someone mentioned Lila. And now I am mentioning her. I want to right now..." Finn says.

It hurts to hear him say that.

" no don't please. I don't want you to get addicted because you know the feeling of wanting to do it" I say with a pleading voice.

"Well now you know how we feel when you do it" Finn says.

"Can I see your scars..?" I ask " you don't have to show me but can't I ?" I say.

He Stands up and pulls up his pj bottom of his left leg all the way up to his thighs then I see it..

A tear drops down my face and as I go to touch them I pull my hand back fast because that's probably stepping the line.

" it's okay Sophie u can touch them" Finn says. He then moves closer to me so I can touch his scars.

I put my fingers across each one. Some look way worse than mine.

"Finn some look way worse than mine what did you use ?" I ask.

" one of the knifes from the kitchen" he says.

I look up at him. Tears falling from my eye. " Finn please don't do it again please" I say.

Then he cups my face with one hand. Omg the butterfly's !!! Sophie shut up.

"I won't if you won't" Finn says.

Ugh I don't want to promise I won't do it because I know I will.I know that I'm not gonna get better. I'm going to end up finding a blade I know it.

" I can't promise that Finn" I say honestly.

" at least try? If not for me for Josh and Jack?" Finn says.

It will always be for him.

I look up into his eyes with tears in mine and his. And somthing came across me and I just got up and hugged him around his neck. I just want to hold him closer than anything.

He holds me.

(Time skip)

We both sit on my bed and just talk and talk till about 6am.

I'm all wrapped in his hoodie still and a duvet. My head is half wresting on a pillow and half on his arm. He is like melatonin.

I close my eyes drifting to sleep. I was asleep for about 5 minutes I'm guessing then it happens. I get a night terror.

My dad walks into my room and sees me and Finn.

"SOPHIE YOU ARE A LITTLE SLUT! CMON GET UP YOU COW AND GO THROW UP NOW! I HATE YOU AND IM GOING TO KILL FINN INFRONT OF YOU BECAUSE YOU DON'T  DESERVE TO EVER BE HAPPY! " me dad screams.

Im crying and then Finn is gone and I'm in the bathroom on the floor and all my cuts open and there is blood and Josh and Jack are hurting me with my dad. And Daniel is about to stab me.

Then I feel Finns hands shaking me awake.

"Sophie! Wake up!" I hear his voice as I wake up in a panic.

I'm gasping for a breath and I realise that it was just a nightmare. Finn is alive and Josh and Jack are just asleep downstairs.

" Josh and Jack would never hurt me. Finn is fine. My cuts are healing. dads not here. And Daniel can't hurt me anymore" I start repeating to myself.

And then I realise Finn is still beside me panicking.

"Sophie what happend?! Are you okay ?!" He says worried.

I just look him in the eyes he is so scared and panicked. Wow he really cares. I think I'm falling for him.

I practically jump on Finn to hug him. He just hugs me back and he practically is killing me. I have never been hugged this hard Befor. And I like it.

"Sophie are you okay ?!" Finn asks again.

" I'm okay. It was just a bad dream" I say. I'm still shaking though.

I won't let go of Finn and just fall asleep while hugging him. Being in his arms feel.. I have no idea how to explain.

I feel him give me one last squeeze and place me softly down. I feel him put a hand on my side where my ribs are and he just rubs his hand up and down 2 times. He then puts the covers on me to make sure I'm warm. And then he dose somthing that turnes red.

He kisses me on the forehead.

He gets up and opens me door.

" Finn " I say in a sleepy voice.

"What's up ?" Finn says softly.

"Can you stay?" I ask chancing it.

He then gets back in my bed but makes sure that he is not touching me in case I don't like it.

I kiss him on the cheek then place my head in his chest and put the covers over us.

This is amazing.

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Hey guys!!! I'm so sorry this took me a week I will try and post again as fast as possible but I'm having a little writers block. Please give me ideas and omg we are almost on 100 reads !! AAAA!!! Remember to be nice and look after yourself!! Byeee!!

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