Trust me..

Chapter 19 🤍🤍

I wake up. I feel amazing. I actually slept and it felt great. I wasent cold and I didn't have a nightmare. All thanks to Finn.

I turn over and see him sleeping peacefully. I wish I could stay like this forever.

But I have to get up. To make breakfast for everyone.

Just as I get up I see blood on the bed. SHIT!!

Wait. How can that be possible?? I haven't had me period in almost a year?

I lift my covers right of the bed and I see somthing that I never would have imagined. The blood is coming from Finn. His thighs.

I softly put my hand of his thigh and he flinches awake. I have tears running down my face.

"What the heck-" Finn stars but then he notices I'm crying.

"Sophie what's wrong?!" He asks.

"W-why would you do this t-to yourself!" I say.

"Sophie I can explain-" Finn starts.

"Show me. Right now!" I shout.

"Sophie-" Finn starts.

"NOW!" I scream at him.

He sighs and stands up of the bed. He pulls his joggers down and I see it. I see it all.

"Why would you do this go yourself again!" I scream through tears.

"Sophie I was dying without you! This was my only escape!" He says with a tone.

"This is not an escape Finn! This is a trap!" I shout. "The whole time I was gone I didn't do it so I knew you would be happy when I finally got back go you! And insted you did it to yourself!" I scream through tears.

"I never thought I would see you again that's why I did it!" He says back to me with his eyes turning red.

I take a second then relise. "It was with my blades wasent it.."I say quietly.

He dosent respond.

"Was it my blades!" I scream.

"yes" he says quietly. "They where in your box but Jack took the box and u don't know where it is now.." Finn says. He won't look me in the eye.

"Fuck!" I scream.

"Sophie please don't-" Finn starts.

"Don't what ?! Blame myself?! You starved yourself and self-harmed all because of me being gone! You are on the edge of dying and what ?! It'd not my fault?! BULLLSHIT!!" I scream.

All of a sudden i start punching my wall with both hands. I keep punching and punching.

Finn keeps trying to hold me back but I won't let him.

I keep punching till I start to see blood and dents on my wall.

Then Finn really steps in and wraps both arms around me tightly. He won't let me go. I'm physically stuck.

"Sophie please.. stop" Finn says.

"I'm so sorry Finn I'm so sorry" I continue over and over.

"Sophie stop it's not your fault" he keeps trying to say.

Then I hear a knock at my door.

"Sophie me and the Boys are hungry please make some breakfast"I hear Josh wine through the door.

I get up and wipe my tears. I look at Finn the walk out my room and go to the kitchen.

I wash my hands and wince a little at the pain of the water biting my knuckles that are staining the water. I kind of like it.

After about 20 minutes I made some pancakes for the hockey team , dad and his new lady.

I place all the plates down the I hear my dads voice.

"Sophie. From that little stunt you pulled the other night people know you are back so this morning you are going to go back to school." My dad says.

I freeze and stop the the pan on the floor.

"Sophie! You made a mess you stupid brat!" My dad shouts.

"I thought the deal was u would have to stay home" I say.

"Well there was a chainge of plans. Now go get ready and don't make me have a bad morning" my dad warns me.

I go up to my room and close my door. I call onto my knees trying to breath.

I can't go back. How can I possibly go back to school right now. I'm going to fail at my classes. And them worst of all the hockey Boys are all going to be leaving.

I start hyperventilating and I'm trying to catch my breath but my eyes catch somthing more fasanating. My box.

Do it.

Don't do it.

Do it.

Don't do it. think about the hockey team.

Do it. Finn did it.

Don't do it. You will get adicted again.

Do it. You are going to have to see Daniel.

I slowly get up and walk to the box. I feel like I'm floating. I run a finger over the top of the box and I slowly start to feel better.

I slowly open it accepting I'm about to relapse.

But when I open the box. All the blades are gone.

I empty the box onto my bed and there is not a single blade in sight.

I back up into the wall and feel myself losing all the air in my lungs.

I was ready for a stress relief. I needed to hurt myself right now. And my blades are gone. And I know exactly who took them.

Finn.

Finn stole all my blades that took me ages to get out of sharpeners! He took all my stress relief! He took what I desired most!

I wont get them back from him. He would never give me them back.

As I'm thinking to myself through tears of pain, anger, panic and every other horrible emotion I start to dig my nails into the palm of my hands. I relise my nails can take all the control.

I put all my strength into my hands and then I see a tiny piece of blood fall from my hand. And I breath. It feels amazing.

But then I hear a voice coming from the door.

"Sophie are u ready- oh my god are you okay ?!" I hear Josh say.

I role my eyes. I was okay for two seconds and now I'm back to being broken.

"Ye I'm fine and I'm geting ready right now" I say bluntly and I slam my door in his face.
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You guys I'm back again. I kinda hate this story so u might start a new one soon but hope you guys liked it!! Look after yourself guys!!