[FreenBecky] When life hits love, sometimes you die

Chapter 14

Chapter 14:

Freen's eyes were still closed tightly until her phone started vibrating. She decided to just ignore the sound, but it kept on going. Wanting the noise to stop, she searched for it while holding her eyes closed. It was to early for this.

Finally finding the source of where the maddening noise was coming from, she checked who was trying to get a hold on her.

The name on her screen, made her eyes go wide for a second in excited. Her annoyance from the noise long forgotten.

'Missed me?' The voice on the other side asked Freen. It made her smile, it been a while since she heard her voice.

'Who's this again?' Freen teased the person. The comment made the other person gasp. But it was soon followed with a giggle.

'How have you been Freen?' She asked. Freen thought for a second. She decided to tell her the truth. If their was one person who knew her inside and out, it was Jim.

She guided her through all these years. Catching her when she was at her lowest point in life. She helped Freen building her life back up. She was there to celebrate every milestone Freen achieved. She kept challenging and monitoring her even when Freen had a setback and there were many. She was her friend, a true friend.

'I've been okay, I guess. Trying to live life. I finally got my apartment. It's nice to live on my own again. Work is also going fine.'
Freen hesitated before continuing. 'This will sound a little crazy, but I've seen Becky. The apartment is from her friend apparently.' It was quiet on the other side of the line.

'So yeah... that happened. We saw each other a couple of times after that.' Jim knew who Becky was. So hearing Freen tell her this, was a little shocking.

Freen continued to tell Jim everything that happened. From their first meeting until their last. She let all her words flow out of her mouth. She literally felt her brain relaxing. It felt good to finally let everything out.

'Wauw Freen, this is...' Jim was a little lost for words. 'I know.' Freen finished for her.
'You know, Freen, I want to say that I'm really proud on you.' Freen furrowed her eyebrows, she was curious where this was going.

'From what I hear, you've been really challenging yourself and living life. You were brave enough to take on the emotions that comes with life when we connect with people... I know this might sound contradicting but it's incredible that you are able to experience all these intense emotions, whether it's sadness, joy, anger, euphoria, love, heartache,... When you do get stuck in a moment off darkness, try to step outside of your thoughts and say 'although this is a very uncomfortable, painful feeling, it's quite beautiful that I have the capacity to experience it' because this is life... the only life you'll ever get and it's so short, like a blip in time. Whatever the emotion or experience is, take it with both hands and feel it to it's fullest. Let it happen, don't fight against it.' Jim's words lingered in Freen's head for a long time after their phone call ended.

Her friend was right and it made her feel grateful for being able to feel these emotions. Especially when she thought back from where she came.

7 years ago, the only things she felt was gloomy, tired, restless and guilty. There was nothing else there anymore. Her love for Becky was swallowed up by her own darkness.

Now being able to feel, was everything to her. The words of Jim were comforting to hear. It made her feel like both of her feet were back on the ground. Her heart rate was slightly less elevated.  She felt herself calm down, being able to breath properly again.

It made her realise something else though. She realised that she was fighting against herself. She was pressuring herself into not feeling and ignoring the fact that she was in love.