Firefly

Nine

A/N: this chapter is a shorter one. Kind of just a little filler.

After I got dressed I went back out to the living room. The woman who lived here had a small bookcase full of books. So I grabbed one and sat on the couch, legs curled up, and tucked myself into the corner. I heard the shower running and smiled, then I turned to look out the window. It was getting closer to early evening and Tommy was still out there doing god knows what. I turned my attention back to the book I picked up and started to read.

I don't know how long I was sitting there, I didn't even hear Joel come into the living room. I didn't even know he was standing in front of me until he took the book from my hands. "I've said your name three times." I looked up at him and then tried to grab the book. "Sorry, I'm just really into this. Please give it back!" Looked down at the title and cover and raised his eyebrow. "You're reading romance?" I snatched the book away from him and held it to my chest. "Don't judge me. I need some kind of entertainment."

He hummed and sat down beside me and that's when I really looked at him. "Well, look at you all pretty and shit." He turned his body towards me, "What're you saying? I'm not pretty any other time?" I stretched my leg out to nudge him with foot. "Shut up. You're in a strangely good mood," I said. "Normally you're all grumpy and in a get the fuck away from me kind of mood." He went back to facing forward and brought my legs to rest over his.

"Guess it's just nice to have some peace and quiet. And it was really nice taking a fucking hot shower. We got lucky this time. No infected, relevantly safe place to stay, we found food and water. I think they cleared these buildings out no long after everything happened." I set the book down and pulled my legs back before folding them under me, moving closer to him. "Do you think there's a chance Nonna is alive?" I was looking down at my hands, fidgeting with my fingers.

"I don't know, darlin'. It's hard to say. She could be at a QZ out that way." I nodded my head, feeling the tears start to flood my eyes. "Yeah, I guess," I whispered. "C'mere." I crawled onto his lap and laid my head on his shoulder. "How about we stay here for a week before moving on. That sound good?" I nodded my head, "sounds fucking great. I'm tired of fucking walking." He chuckled a little, "me too."

"When's Tommy supposed to be back?" I asked, moving so I could look at him. He shrugged, "I don't know. Probably needs time away from your smart mouth." I lightly hit his chest. "Whatever! You are always arguing about something. We need to go this way. No it's this way. Blah blah blah. Y'all argue like a bunch of old ladies." When I looked at him he was just staring at me. "What? Why're you looking at me like that?" He didn't say anything. "God, what? You're both like having a stroke or something are you?"

That seemed to snap him out of it. "What? No! Just thinkin'." I raised an eyebrow, "about?" I asked. "What Tommy told me before I came back to check on you." I hummed and went to move back to my side of the couch but his grip tightened on me. "You're nineteen. I'm seventeen years older than you…" I pulled out of his grip and stood up. "So, what did you guys find in food? Anything good?"

I didn't want to hear that I shouldn't be attracted to him like that or this can't happen. I don't see you like that, you're more like a little sister. I don't want to–I can't hear it. I stead I walked into the small kitchen where there was a box of non-perishables. "I can't make spaghetti. Won't be as good without Nonna's famous meatballs but it'll work!" I pulled the pasta and sauce out then went hunting for the pots and pans.

"Yn, I need ya listen or I'm never going to be able to get it out." Joel walked into the kitchen and took the pot I had just pulled out of the cabinet out of my hand. "Joel, I need that." I tried grabbing it but he put it out of my reach. "Listen to me. I told ya I would protect you no matter what. I won't let anything happen to you. The past few months…" I stopped him again. "Joel, stop. I get it, okay. I'm a kid to you. You're too old for me. You see me as a little sister or whatever. This is the apocalypse and relationships in the apocalypse just don't work."

I walked around him and back into the living room. "It's fine. Really. I understand. It's not a big deal… I mean I'm not going to lie and say I never had some stupid little crush on you because I did but I've always known that this ...." I gestured between us. "would never work. You don't need to give me a lecture on why it wouldn't. It's fine. I'm fine. We're fine. Why are you looking at me like that? It's creepy. Stop it." I backed up when he walked closer to me. "Joel…"

He grabbed my face with both his hands and leaned down. "You need to learn to shut up. You talk too much," he whispered. Then he was kissing me. Joel fucking Miller was kissing me! And I was just frozen and not kissing back. "Now I know how to shut you up." I just stood there and blinked at him, mouth dropped open. "Okay, now you need to stop. You're freaking me out."

"What the fuck?! You can't just kiss me like that without–" he kissed me again and this time I kissed back. This had to be a fucking dream. "Like I said you talk too much." I rolled my eyes. "Thought I was too young for you?" I said, smiling. It was his turn to roll his eyes. "You are too young for me." My smile dropped. "Don't go overthinking, darling. Besides, Nonna would be fucking thrilled." I snorted and nodded my head. "I think she'd be disappointed. I'm pretty sure she wanted you all to herself."

"She did say I have a great ass." I put my hand flat against his chest and pushed him a little. He brought his hand up and wrapped it around my wrist before pulling me into him. "I already lost one of those most important things in the world to me. I'm not going to lose another. I promise to always keep you safe." I looked up at him and smiled. "I know you will. But just to be clear…I can protect myself. I'm a indepent–" he shut me up by kissing me again and I wasn't complaining about it.