Firefly

Twelve

September 2006

I paced back and forth waiting for joel. It's officially been three years since Cordyceps infection swept across the whole world. It's been three years since--i couldn't think about that night. It was past curfew and Joel wasn't home. I was worried. He went outside the walls early this morning, before the sun came up. I wanted to go with him but he refused to let me go. We argued yesterday night and then again before he left.

He's been more strict. Maybe that's not the right word…more…protective? He won't let me go anywhere alone if he's here. And unless it's to go to my "job" then he won't let me go outside this small shitty ass apartment. We've had fights about it but I understand why he's like that. Tommy join the fucking fireflies not long after we got here.

They're a rebellion against FEDRA and fucking annoying as hell. Always coming up to and telling you to "look for the light." It made me sick and I hated that they had to be called the fireflies. There had been times I told Joel not to call me firefly because of it. Especially if we were out in public. The last thing I needed was for some FEDRA soldier to hear it and fucking shot me. That would only give Joel more reason to kill someone for hurting me. He damn near killed a guy for just looking at me in what he said was a seductive way.

"He was taking your clothes off with his eyes! If I weren't here he would follow you and try to have his way with you!"

It wouldn't be the first time he's beat the living hell out of someone because he didn't like the way they looked at me or said they were flirting with me. He wouldn't hesitate killing them either if I didn't stop him. We did things before we ended up here. Things I'm not proud of but at the time it was necessary or at least that's what I told myself.

Joel already had a reputation here. People got out of his way. Well, if they were smart they got out of his way. But people also went to him when they needed something they couldn't get. Him and his "partner" who by the way I have never met. He doesn't talk about it and shuts it down before I can even ask. It's not something he wasn't me to be involved in.

He's always back before curfew. He's never late. A lot of things were going through my head. What if he decided just not to come back and that's why he wouldn't let me come along? What if something happened to him? What if he was killed? What if he was infected?! What if some FEDRA asshole caught him? Before I could spiral even more I heard the lock on the door click. I reached for the gun that was on the table beside the couch.

When Joel walked in I let out the breath that I had been holding for hours and rushed over to him. "Oh, my god! I thought something happened." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and buried my face in his neck. His left arm came to wrap around my waist and he walked me backwards. "I'm sorry, darlin'. I didn't mean to worry ya. Took a little longer than we thought it would." I heard the door close and lock. I pulled away from Joel and looked behind him to see a woman with long hair.

"Thought you said you didn't have kids," she said. I raised my eyebrows and looked up at Joel. He moved away to set his bag down before sitting on the couch with a long sigh. "I don't" he said, rubbing his hand down his face. I looked back at the woman. "I'm sorry. Who are you?" I asked. "Tess. I'm Joel's partner," she said. She looked to be around his age and she was pretty. I tilted my chin up and then nodded my head. "Oh. Well, Tess…I'm yn… Joel's girlfriend." A look of shock crossed her face but was gone in seconds.

I was guessing she didn't know much about Joel. He definitely only told her the bare minimum. Just what she needed to know. "Oh…I'm sorry. You just look really young," she said. I smiled and hummed. "Well, to be fair…I'm only twenty-two. So there's that…" I heard Joel clearing his throat and then I felt his hand on my lower back. "I offered Tess to stay for the night. With it being way past curfew and us almost getting caught on our way here I figured it'd be safer."

"Oh…yeah…sure. Okay, that's no problem. I'll go get an extra blanket and pillow for you." I turned and made my way towards the bedroom not really knowing what to say. I couldn't just say she couldn't stay here. That would be rude and could get her arrested or fucking killed. Rules were strict around here.

I was grabbing the extra blanket from the trunk at the end of the bed when I heard whispering. It's not like you could really hide a conversation even if you were whispering. There wasn't any door. The only thing separating the living room from the bedroom was a partial wall.

Me being me I had to know what was being said. "She's a little young for you don't you think?" I heard Tess say. I could hear the sink running before Joel said anything. "She isn't that much younger than me or you," he said. "She's twenty-two and you just turned what…thirty-nine? That's seventeen years. Were you two together before all this?"

Joel sighed and I could hear his boots against the floor, walking towards the small living room. "No. We were not together before all this shit happened. We got together shortly after though," he told her. "Did you guys know each other before?" Joel was quiet for a second. "Yeah, we knew each other. We were neighbors. Are you done asking me fucking questions on my love life? I don't question you about yours."

I grabbed the blanket and an extra pillow and made my way back out to the living room. "Here you are." I set them both down on the couch. "Well, I'm tired so I'm going to go to bed. Good night." I turned around not even bothering to kiss Joel goodnight like I always did. Her words were replaying in my head. That I'm too young for Joel. What if he's only with me because at that time there weren't really any other options. And now that Tess is in his life and his age he leaves me for her. Or kicks me out so she can move  in.

I was pulling the sheets back when I heard him telling her to get some rest. Before he walked around that little half wall and right up to me. He took my face in his hands and kissed me. "I can see you overthinking what you just heard. There ain't nothing you need to worry about."