Firefly

Fifty

I looked at Joel waiting for him to explain what Ellie was talking about. When Joel didn't say anything Ellie did. “Why are you here?” She asked. “I came here to talk to you,” he told her. He was avoiding making eye contact with me. “No, why are you still here? If you're gonna ditch me, ditch me.” I looked at Ellie then back at Joel. He had a look of shame? Maybe…I wasn't too sure. I was confused. “What exactly did you hear?” He asked her.

"I have to leave her. You have to take her. Yn has to stay here. She's safer here.” Ellie mocked Joel's voice. “You know, I stood up for you today because I thought…” Ellie was cut off by Joel while I stood there looking at him in disbelief…no not even that because it doesn't surprise me that he would do something like this. I made this decision for your own good. Both of you,” he said. Ellie and I both scuff. “You'll be way better off with Tommy. He knows the area better than I do…” I stopped him, cutting off his words. “Excuse you? You made this decision? You don5 get to do that, Joel! I thought we were past this!”

“Do you give a shit about me or not? What about yn? Do you love her? Do you care about her?!” Ellie asked, getting worked up. More tears ran down her face. “Of course, I do,” Joel whispered. “Then what are you so afraid of? I'm not her, you know? Maria told me about Sarah and…”

“Don't. Don't say another word,” Joel warned. “I-I'm sorry about your daughter, Joel. But I have lost people, too.” He cut her off again. “You have no idea what loss is.”

“Everybody I have cared for has either died or left me. Everybody, fսcking except for you and yn! So don't tell me that I'd be safer with somebody else because the truth is I would just be more scared,” Ellie cried. “You're right. You're not my daughter. And I sure as hell ain't your dad. Now, come dawn... we're goin' our separate ways!” My eyes widened at that. I couldn't believe the audacity. “I will be right back. Look at me,” I said. Ellie looked up at me and I cupped her face in my hands. “I'm not leaving you. I will never leave you,” I told her. I kissed her forehead and went after Joel.

I walked into the bedroom and closed the door, hard. “What the fuck is wrong with you?! I thought we were past this bullshit of you making decisions for everyone! I don't know what makes you think it's alright to do that. She trusts you and feels safe with you. How can you just turn your back on her? What you said to her was uncalled for!” He stood up off the bed, face turning red, as he walked closer to me. “She is not m6 daughter! She is not my responsibility! I'll just get her killed. I'll get the both of you killed! Sarah…if I would have…I couldn't protect her.”

My eyes softened and I let out a heavy breath  “I know you're hurting, Joel. I know Sarah's death still haunts you. I know you still have dreams about that night, I do too. You did what you had to do. You were protecting her and what happened was not your fault. If I could go back…go back to that night, I would trade places with her in a heartbeat. She didn't deserve to leave this planet so early. But when I really think about it…I feel like she got lucky. But I also know that you would have done everything in your power to male sure she was safe.

“I know she would have grown into an amazing woman no matter what kind of world we live in. Ellie needs you, Joel. You don't want anything to do with me anymore, fine. We'll go our separate ways once she's where she needs to be. But Ellie needs you and you need her. Because when you're with her…the old joel…the one from before all this bullshit happened…he starts to peek through. She brings the good out in you. You're just too scared to admit it. Too caught up in your own head to see it.” I didn't give him time to say anything else. I turned around, walked out of the room, and went back to Ellie.

The next morning I got up before Ellie. I decided to get a quick shower and change int9 some clean clothes before we left. They would only get dirty eventually but it would feel a hell of a lot better. When I was finished I woke Ellie up and made sure she got herself ready. I wanted to go check on Joel but decided against it. “You'll still stay with me after, right?” I spun around towards Ellie and nodded. “Of course!” I pulled her into a hug. “I'm never going to leave you. I promise.” Seconds later the door opened and Tommy walked in. “You guys ready?” He asked. I smiled at Ellie, taking her hand in mine and we followed Tommy to the stables.

When we got to the stables Joel was there, which I was a little surprised to see. “You came here to say goodbye or something?” Ellie asked with an attitude. Joel sighed, stepping out from behind the horse. “No. I came here to steal one of these horses and go,” he said. “I woulda gave you one,” Tommy told him. Joel nodded his head, “I know,” he said. “Anyway... that was 30 minutes ago, and I guess... you deserve a choice, both of you. I still think you'd be better off with Tommy… and I think you'd be better off staying here…”

Ellie didn't let him finish, she just threw her backpack at him and started to climb up onto the horse. “Let's go.” “Okay,”  Joel gruntts, catching the bag. He looked at Tommy who was getting another horse ready. “General direction?” He asked. Tommy threw the saddle over the horse and positioned it where it needed to be. “Head southeast till you hit I-25. It's right off the interstate. Shouldn't be hard to miss.” He finished putting the saddle and everything on the horse before looking between Joel and I. “There's a place for you here... all three of you.”

Joel nodded and looked over me briefly before looking back at Tommy. “Countin' on it. Can I borrow that?” He asked, pointing at the rifle Tommy had.  “Yeah.” Tommy handed it to him. “ 'Cause Maria took mine, you know?” Joel continued. “I already said yes, Joel. Adios, big brother.” I walked over to Tommy and gave h8m a hug. “Take care of him, please. Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid, like get himself killed,” he said, only for me to hear. “Can't promise but I'll trytryI pulled away and got onto the horse. Joel said His goodbyes to him and got onto the horse with Ellie, then we headed out of the gates of Jackson.