Firefly

Forty-Four

Flashback 

Winter 2009

I sat in the chair beside the window, legs curled up, a blanket draped over me, and a cup of hot cocoa in my hands. I don't know where or how Joel found it, but he did. He came how one night and pulled one of those big tins of it out of his bag. He also pulled out a few oversized sweaters he said he found in a department store, along with gloves, hats, a pair of fluffy socks, and new boots for me since mine were beginning to fall apart. 

The snow was coming down in big, fluffy sheets. It was hard to see anything with how heavy it was, I was almost a complete white out. Everyone was staying inside their homes. Not everyone was lucky enough to have some source of heat. The QZ had electricity, but it was mainly used for FEDRA purposes. The residents had electricity, but not all of them. We were lucky enough that Joel found a space heater while he and Tess were out on one of their trips that he forbade me from going on. It was just enough to keep the small apartment warm through the cold nights. 

We didn't use it during the day unless it was that cold out. We only used it at night when the temperatures would drop below zero. We weren't used to the cold like this. I mean, during the winter it would get cold at night and sometimes in the morning it would be chilly and by the afternoon it would warm up. But it was nothing compared to Boston winters. 

I sat waiting for Joel to get home. It was already dark out, and the temperature was dropping. I set my mug on the stand beside me and pulled the blanket tighter. The sound of the door being unlocked grabbed my attention, and I looked over to see Joel pushing it open and stepping inside. He was covered in snow. His dark hair wet from the melted snow. He took his boots off and set them beside the door after he shit and locked it and hung his jacket on the back of one of the dining chairs. 

"Hey, what're you doing sitting in the damn cold?" He asked, walking over to turn the heater on. "I didn't feel like I needed to turn it on," I said. Of course, I didn't really realize how cold it was in the apartment since I had my blanket wrapped around me, so it was also covering my head like a hood. "Well, I doubt you can even feel how cold it is in here, with how you're bundled up."  

He came over and pulled up off the chair, sat down, and then pulled me onto his lap. "It's getting close to Christmas," I said. Joel hummed and wrapped his arms around me tighter. "How was your day?" I asked. He sighed, "It was long. There were a lot of bodies to burn today. Some were infected, but there were some that died from the cold, more so the older people," he said quietly. 

When someone died, they weren't buried. That wasn't a thing anymore. You didn't get to have a funeral for your loved ones anymore. All bodies were burned now. Joel did the job of pulling those bodies off the back of trucks and putting them in the fire. You were paid in ration cards. That was the currency now. Joel always made sure we had what we needed. He worked any job he could get, but he also went outside the walls. He and Tess smuggle stuff in and out all the time. Me, I do whatever I can get, too. Joel doesn't usually let me go out with him and Tess. 

I stood up and grabbed Joel's hand. "Come on, let's go to bed. It's late." We walked over to the bed, and I threw the blanket I had wrapped around me at the bottom, then slipped under the covers. Joel pulled his jeans off and climbed in beside me, pulling me into him and wrapping his arms around me. His hand slid down my stomach and into the sweatpants I was wearing. 

He moved down to my panties and found my covered clit. He pressed his finger over it, drawing small circles, and started to kiss my neck. His fingers were moving my underwear to the side when someone started to bang on the door. "Ignore it," I begged, holding onto his wrist. The pounding stopped and Joel continued. He ran his fingers through my wet slit. I turned onto my back, spreading my legs apart so he had more access. His lips connected to mine as he slipped his fingers inside of me. 

The banging on the door started again, but Joel ignored it, pressing his thumb against my clit and pumped his fingers in and out of me. It didn't take long for my release to come. I groaned when the banging started again and Joel started to pull away. "Just ignore it. Please, Joel." I pulled down to connect our lips but as soon as the person on the other side of the door spoke he was pulling away again. 

"Joel! Joel, open the door!" 

He gave me an apologetic look, got off the bed, and pulled his jeans on. The banging kept going until he yelled out to them. "Alright!" He reached the door, unlocked it, and pulled it open. Tess stood on the other side. I sat up on the edge of the bed, sighed, and slowly stood up. She was talking fast and pacing back and forth. Joel grabbed her by the shoulders and made her sit down. 

She slowed down and started explaining something about one of the guys they deal with. Apparently he fucked them over on a deal. Something about supplies they were supposed to be smuggling out of the QZ in a few days. I walked into the living room and picked up the mug I left on the table. I was pissed, it was late at night. Why couldn't she have waited until the morning. I didn't miss her watching me as I walked past them to the kitchen. 

"We need to get this tonight or we will lose everything." 

I slammed the mug on the counter and spun around. "Are you fucking kidding? There is a fucking snow storm going on outside! There is no way that he is going out there to fucking smuggle something that you set up! You're the one that wanted to do this and now you want to head out in a snowstorm?! Just take the damn loss!" 

An argument broke out and in the end they ended up leaving anyway. "Joel, please, don't do this. Stay here with me," I begged. He was pissed off at my outburst, but kissed my forehead and opened the door. "I'll be back in a few days."