ChanSung/Q/scars

776 11 15
                                    

genre: angst

⚠️ ⚠️ TW: suicide attempt !! self harm (cutting, choking), sh scars, suicidal thoughts, body dystrophia, breakdown, blood, graphic description of injuries, angst !! 

Word count: 2973

a/n: enjoy everyone

A tingling sensation in his arm kept Jisung from being able to sleep, the almost healed scars were seemingly screaming at him to be renewed — as well as his mind. But who was he to hurt himself?

His situation was nothing compared to others, they had it so much worse and he, Jisung, was just some attention seeking teenager, not knowing what to do with life. Yeah, maybe he was depressed and yeah, maybe he struggled with anxiety and yeah he didn't have the easiest life, but there were people who were struggling way more than him.

Who was he to hurt himself?

Jisung cuddled himself into his blanket, wishing it was someone he could hug as tight as possible — in hopes of those stupid thoughts to disappear. He didn't want to be that attention seeking kid in class, the weird and quiet nerd, he wanted to be liked, but what was there to like about him?

His teeth were crocked and yellow, his cheeks way too puffy, eyes too big and body too fat. He could never be the funny kid, telling jokes in the middle of class and making everyone laugh — he could never be him.

Chan was one of the nicest people Jisung had ever met, he was everything he wanted to be. The brunette hugged his pillow, imagining the older in front of him. He doesn't know how it happened, but after a short yet sweet interaction with his classmate he found comfort in him, in his voice, in his actions.

After Chan noticed the scars on the younger's wrist, he pulled him into the bathroom, quick to address the situation. Jisung admired the fact he was so quick to react, he had asking him how he was doing and if he could help him in any way, he even gave him his phone number, but Jisung just kindly declined.

But now, now that he was on the verge of breaking down and ending it all, he wanted nothing more but the male's comfort and attention.

Living without many friends and no parents to turn to for help, it wasn't a surprise that Jisung fell for his classmate. He made him feel so safe, so loved, he couldn't help but slowly fall for him. The simple acts of kindness and those quick yet cute smiles he got whenever they crossed paths, it made his knees weak.

With a shaky hand, Jisung grabbed his phone, their conversation replaying in his head as if it was yesterday.

"Jisung, I'm serious. If you ever need a shoulder to cry on, text me- or call me. I'd be more than happy to help out." He held him by his shoulders, looking the squirrel boy in the eyes as he puffed out his cheeks. "Okay."

Chan carefully let go of the younger and took a step back, watching him holding the small piece of paper as if his life depended on it — both hands in front of his chest. The older noticed his slightly shaky hands, but before he could address it Jisung already made a run for the bathroom door, afraid that teacher might scream at him for being late for class, sports to be exact.

"Nu-uh, not so fast." The messy haired quickly took a hold of his shoulder again, pulling the boy back in front of him. "Don't worry, I'll talk to her." He noted, telling Jisung to not worry about getting into trouble and instead focus on what mattered at the moment. "Thanks.."

There was a loud sigh coming from the older as he slid his hand away from Jisung again. "I just want to make sure you're doing okay, please just tell me when anything's bothering you. I know it can be hard, opening up to someone, but it's important that you do."

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