Sorry for disappearing,, i almost broke my back☠️
-
-
Soap was seen as cheerful, a man that could make a whole room smile just by his presence alone. He was loud and had a happily contagious laugh, a matching bright smile to go along with it that was just as contagious. Soap was a people pleaser, he always looked for any possible way to lighten the mood, always greeted people with a smile and a nod. He was understanding and thoughtful, careful. Soap was a rather funny guy. Or at least ghost thought so. The man had an over all positive vibe and most appreciated it, others found it annoying as if he did it to be praised by others because of his kindness.
But John MacTavish was different. John MacTavish is a broken man. He was quiet, unenjoyable to be around. He had a gloomy attitude, not a thing about him was positive. John had suffered through many things people couldn't even have nightmares about, things most people couldn't even imagine. MacTavish suffered and grieved with the loss of his now deceased girlfriend, their child left to be handle and cared for by her god mother, Johns sister, Isla. Not only that, though it's been years MacTavish is still grieving the loss of his father as a child. He was 6, got the news when his mom picked him up after school. The tears came, for hours, days, months even. The news broke the sweet child John used to be.
His father was also a soldier, he was also a sergeant just like Soap. He was a man that died in combat alongside his buddys. A tragic way to go out, Soaps biggest fear when out on the field.
Unlike Soap, John was not praised for any sorts of kindness or positivity he might've offered to himself, he was degraded instead. Tells himself theres other people to worry about, he was just another person with problems. Others probably had worse then him so he should just shrug it off and move on, right?
Soap and John MacTavish were not the same.
Soap was a joyful persona MacTavish had created in a way to mask his negative energy, to make sure people didn't know. He didn't want people to know his business or how horrible his mental health most likely was. It wasn't their information to know of neither was it soaps, it was Johns. Only his.
The task force had all been discharged after the injuries they suffered after defeating the Russians. Ghost had lost most of his pinky, was left with a small patch of burns on the right side of his stomach. Roach was also left with burns, much more severe burns that covered the entirety of the left side of his body. His lungs were utterly fucked, because of the smoke and lack of oxygen he'd experienced while being burnt. His now old smoking habit hadn't helped him any in that department. Not to mention he had lost his voice, not permanently but it hurt rather bad when he attempted to speak. He decided to take classes on bsl and now chooses to almost only communicate through writing and sign language.
Gaz had gotten lucky with the situation he was in last. He had lost his left hand due to the severe damages to the nerves it had received when a brick wall collapsed in on the room he and price had been in and landed directly on the sergeants lower forearm. He was close to loosing the entirely of his forearm, lucky for him, ghost and soap had been near by and were able to get the younger man out of the rubble of the brick wall.
Price hadn't gotten as lucky as Gaz had. His right leg had gotten trapped under the bricks just like gaz's arm had but it took much longer to get the older Brit out from under the mess of brick and dirt. He lost his leg up until the middle of his thigh. He lost his eye sight in his left eye during a helo crash after they had been shot down by an rpg. He had almost lost his husband in said crash, his pilot, Nikolai. He practically hasn't left Niks side since said day.
Now Soap, he'd almost lost his hearing in his ears due to all the explosions and gun fire he had been in close contact with while out on the field with his team. He damaged the nerves in his leg, he was left with a constant tremble. Him and roach had that in common. Roach had damaged the nerves in both of his hands now also left with the same annoying constant unstoppable tremble which made basic day to day things difficult like pouring a cup of tea. He'd spill it from the shake of his hands, though ghost was almost always right behind him to help him with it if it got to hard.
______________________
Ghost and Roach were staying with John. They always did while on leave, except this time is different. They wouldn't be returning back to their base. They didn't have a time limit of how long they could stay to have domestic time with each other.
John was rather excited to be back home, he had a cat named Jasper , a blue Russian cat, him and price had gotten kittens from the same litter two years ago. A present from Nik. MacTavish also had a daughter to care and look after. Something he rarely got to do. He cherished his daughter.
She was about 3 now, her hair was beautifully curly and was a dark brown shade. She matched her father with that one. She has beautiful emerald coloured eyes, that glimmer in the sunlight from the specs of gold and sage. The wonderful colour of her eyes highlighted her gorgeous tanned and freckled skin. She looked like Soap though she had her mothers eyes. It threw him off very often, sure he was over her mother, let her go and continued on with his dating life, but he'll never forget her.
____________________
"Johnny?" Ghost spoke softly as he shook the man's shoulders gently, knocking him back to reality. "mm,?" He replied. "Sorry, was I out again?" Soap mumbled as he rubbed his eyes, a nod from ghost was all he received besides from a certain look from his eyes. A look John only saw when he was in a state such as this. Constant feelings of guilt and helplessness, his heavy lack of concentration, lack of sleep. Stuff such as that. It didn't happen often, only whenever he couldn't get his prescriptions refilled in time, but when it did, it hit him like a steel brick.
"Take some time off, please." Ghost sighed as he removed his hand from soaps shoulder. "Roach and ivy are playing in the living room, I'll be with them if you want to join us, captain."
John tensed at the use of his old rank. "I'll come out soon. Just.." he sighed. "Let me clean up, alright?"
Ghost left with a nod, leaving soap to clean up the mess he'd created that consisted of paint, charcoal, coloured pencils and lead smudges.
He's been trying to finish this small painting for months, he's just never been able to concentrate hard enough on it.
He gets distracted far to easily.
But, maybe he should come out of his room and socialize, maybe seeing his partners and his- no. Their child might make him feel at least a little better.
