my "friend"

4

I picked the pacifier up, Marco took it out of my hands and  he put it in his mouth. I asked softly, "why did you have it? why were you carrying around that pacifier?"
Marco looked guilty and didn't answer my question.

I gently pulled the pacifier out of his mouth and said, "come here."
Marco obeyed, I lifted him in my lap, he cuddled into my chest. that's when I realised he was trying to get it back.

I asked, "what's wrong? why do you need a pacifier at 16?"

he looked like he was gonna cry, out of guilt I put the pacifier in his mouth.   Then he turned around and buried his face in my shirt.  My heart was breaking, why would he keep such a stupid item. I kissed the top of his head.

something is wrong with this boy and I need to know why. He is acting like an actual toddler at 16, and it's actually quite worrying. It's like looking after a needy toddler that won't tell you what's wrong.

Marco kept sucking on his pacifier, and cuddling his strawberry cow plushie. I asked him, "hey Marco, why don't you open up to me?"

I need an explanation for his toddler like behaviour. I went to grab his pacifier and he started crying,  "no! no! no!"
I tried my best not to laugh at the cute childlike behaviour. I told him to stop crying and that didn't work.

I said, "you really are just a baby."
Marco continued to cry. I gave him the pacifier.
then he started crying even louder, this time it's definitely a toddler tantrum, which makes me feel more concerned.
I said soothingly and rubbed his back, eventually Marco stopped crying.

I asked him, "are you alright now?"
He nodded his head, he was still crying his little brown eyes out.
I said, "now you're gonna tell me what happened?"
He stayed silent.

I asked, "well? are you gonna tell me or are you gonna be stubborn and pretend nothing happened?"
Then one of his sleeves moved upwards. then that's when I saw it... self inflicted cuts,  on his wrist. I gasped. Why would anyone make someone as sweet and gentle as him, do this to themselves?

"Marco?", I gasped.  I carefully untied his wrist and touched it carefully. he flinched away. I removed my hand and I gently rubbed it with my hand, "how could you do this to yourself, why?"
Marco just stared at me blankly.
I took his wrist and turned it over.

His wrists had multiple cuts, and it seemed he'd been making himself bleed. Tears filled my eyes.
"oh Marco..."
I gently held onto Marco's chin with one hand and stroked his cheek with my thumb with the other. 
I said, "you shouldn't have done this to yourself."

Marco whispered, "the monster wouldn't stop. it was my only escape."