Know My Name - a RDR2 Story

Drink Until You Drown

Let me tell you a story about a young woman who fell into two crowds: the good and the bad.
Of course, there are pros and cons to each category, but I suppose it only depends on the way you look at it...

TW!: graphic depictions of drowning, alcohol use

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Some people say that drowning is the worst way to die. Others believe that being burned while conscious by flames hotter than 100-degrees Fahrenheit is far worse. Some believe that bleeding to death might be even harder to manage. But Kam? Well, she believed that suffocation was the worst way to go.
She hated the idea of not being able to breath as her air ways were blocked from any hope of oxygen being let into her lungs. The idea of her face turning purple, throat tightening, mouth slung jaw slack open, and eyes bulging had her shaking. Kam wasn't afraid of a lot of things, but when she was, she froze. Her body ignored its brain's commands to turn on her fight or flight instinct and she would simply freeze.

Luckily, she wasn't as afraid of drowning as she was suffocating.

There was a sense of peace that came with the idea of being held underwater by the force of more liquid. It was quiet- well, apart from the muffled sound of gushing water being poured on top of her body. She didn't know where she was. She knew she was in the Dakota River having just been thrown off Donner Falls, but she didn't know where in the river. Was she 30-feet deep under the crushing weight of water? Was she close to shore? Was she still trapped under the falls? She had no idea. The only thing she could comprehend was the loud noise of humbled explosions and the feeling of nothingness.

She was drifting. The sudden impact from hitting the surface of the water made her body spasm ever so slightly. She wasn't drowning, but she wasn't exactly fighting it either. Her body was scrunched up, knees close to her chest but not pressed directly into her torso. Her arms felt light as they swayed with the river, her body drifting to wherever the water wished for her to go.

Where was Dutch? Had he made it to the shore yet? Was he waiting for her with the lockbox to pull her to safety? Was he even looking for her?

Despite the force constraining her limbs, she thrusted her arms down to create a sort of 'whooshing' action. Her throat began to burn with the contained oxygen in her cheeks. She hadn't planned to be holding her breath for so long. Perhaps she should've taken a deeper inhale; no, that would've only made it worse. It would've only increased the hard pounding of her heart through her ribcage. She would've been dead much sooner. She should've been dead a lot sooner.

Earlier that day, she had been so excited for 'soon' to come. Now, she was hoping 'soon' would be 'later'. Quite ironic, if you think about it philosophically.

She still couldn't swim, but somehow, some miracle happened. She made it to the surface. She found a way to have the rising sun pierce her thinly veiled eyelids. Somehow, in some God-like way, she was able to bring her mouth above the water to take in a short breath of air.

A quick inhale was enough to secure her body for another ten seconds or so before the rapids crashed her body back underneath the river. She was trapped. Trapped between short breaths and the step before drowning. During the time she tried to breathe, her teeth left their clenched position on the brim of her hat, no doubt losing it as soon as the canoe hit the water. Her brain began to hurt. The pressure on her cranium hurt almost as much as the pressure in her ribs. But did it really hurt? Or was it just uncomfortable? Maybe it was both.

When her head bobbed back up to where air was, she heard a voice- something other than the rushing waterfall. "Kam!" it exclaimed. "Grab my hand!" she peered through her eyes just enough to make dripping water fall from her black lashes. There, down the river, stood a blurred figure. Dutch. He was knee-deep in the water, handheld out far enough to reach her, as he dripped from head to toe. He looked soaked.