Throw Back Thursday

Twenty Four

Morning creeped through my window and into my eyes like no tomorrow. Wow, I love that phrase. I could smell breakfast and my nose was leading me downstairs. What good things had happened here?

Wow, no brother! Was this a dream? Was he killed? No. Was my life actually getting better? Was God forgiving me? Okay, totally over dramatic.

"Smells good." A pause for possible disgust. "Tastes good." Another moment. "Wow!" A smile found its way on my face. Finally, a smile. I haven't smiled since last night and the first time I was kissed... Ah, his kiss was... It was...

"Elizabeth? Is this what you refused to tell?" What? Oh. I just realized I was thinking out loud. How awkward.

"Is that who she was talking about?" Suddenly, I felt all of that food rise up in my chest. I think I was going to be sick.

With all of my might, I ran up to my room, pancake still in my mouth, and slammed the door hard, my back up against the door inside of the room.

Oh, God, no.

"Girls, mom's cracked me!" I heard faint laughter and then showers of concern.

"What the hell do you mean?"

"Does she know that you've fallen yet?" Fallen? "Fallen in love." In my head, there was crying. On my face, there were tears. On my end of the phone, there were big, gigantic sobs.

They knew. Everyone important, everyone worth caring about knew. I felt food getting higher. I waddled to the toilet. Blegh!

I looked myself over in the mirror. I was pale, broken hearted, suspended and isolated. I'd never felt so lost in my life. I stared at the phone, wondering what to do next. My friends were waiting for an answer from me, Leon was.. God knows and my parents had finally figured me out. I think... I think I give up.