golden moon | psh. - khj. |

back to me

seonghwa and hongjoong are laying on the bed, facing each other with moon who has been already sleeping the whole time in between them. they are talking about things they usually can't with moon around and both of them admit things they refused to back then. but there was one thing that hongjoong wanted to ask him but he didn't know if he really wanted an answer to it.

"seonghwa, can I ask you something?"

the other looked at him responding with a hum. 

"is there something going on between you and rowoon?"

seonghwa shot his eyes open. he didn't want hongjoong and moon to think he was actually in love with him. yes, they're close and there were times where seonghwa asked himself if it wasn't better to just fall in love with someone else but the thought of hongjoong always held him back. 

"no! who told you that?" hongjoongs eyes move to their son whose head is laying on hongjoongs arm and seonghwa just sighs.

"he said he doesn't want you to fall in love with him."

"All I've been doing is giving all my love to moon and that's what I'm gonna continue to do. I'm not ready to be in a relationship yet. I just started to heal and that's what I want to focus on."

hongjoong understands that and as much as he wants to be with seonghwa he knows he himself  needs to heal first too. 

"I don't know how things will be in the future. maybe I'll fall in love or maybe I'll stay single forever."

hongjoong nods, he hates the idea of seonghwa being with someone else because he always liked seonghwa. he doesn't know if the other likes him back but even if he didn't, hongjoong doesn't want to be separated from his family. 

"I know moon wants us to be together but my feelings are still all over the place. I don't even know if you want us to be. maybe you have feelings for someone else or I don't know. but I can tell you one thing and that is that I will never fall in love with rowoon."

hongjoong takes a deep breath. he wasn't sure if now was the right time to say what he wanted to say.

"if there's a possibility for us them I'll take it but if there isn't, I can't do anything else but accept it. i hope that we will never go back the way we were. I don't care if we are together, married or both of us have someone else, I don't want anything to block us from being the parents we need to be. we need to be here for moon." 

he really hopes that, this won't be the case. hongjoong wants them to live together in peace without having to worry about the media bothering them. he wants to be with moon and seonghwa every single day. he wants to give them the whole world but If seonghwa doesn't want that he can't force it. as much as it would break his heart he needs to accept it. 

"okay, then let's make a promise." seonghwa smiles silly at hongjoong.

"no matter what happens, let it not change our relationship with moon and each other again."

seonghwa holds up his pinky finger, waiting for hongjoong to lock his.

"that's a good way to phrase it." hongjoong said with a laugh, locking their pinkies together like kids. 

"you said the same thing to us when we celebrated our comeback years ago."  

he remembers all of them holding up their glasses, looking at each other with a smile on their faces  but he certainly remembers mouthing the words 'thank you' to him and the shine in seonghwas eyes afterwards.