golden moon | psh. - khj. |

come back home

everything changed again. it feels like they took 50 steps back, all the way to when they first saw each other again months ago and neither of them wanted it. seonghwa doesn't want to talk about what happened which leaves hongjoong with his own ideas. they start to drift apart the only thing that kept them together was moon.

and it hurt like hell. hongjoong can only look back at the happy memories, feeling like he has to farewell seonghwa although he was right next to him. he has to let go of the idea of them being together. there was to hope left for them, he believes.

it was another night, sleepless from the sounds of seonghwa's sniffles and sobs. hongjoong couldn't take it no more and the more he thinks about it the less it makes sense.

if seonghwa was in love with rowoon, wouldn't he be with him right now? why was he still here when he could be with the other male?

hongjoong wanted answers. he was laying down facing his back, not daring to touch the other when in reality he wanted to wipe the tears off his beautiful face, hold him tight around his waist while telling him that they'll be alright. he wanted to take away all seonghwa's worries but he just couldn't get to him.

"seonghwa," he said, not expecting him to answer but hoping he was listening.

"please talk to me. i won't judge you, I just wanna help you."

he got nothing, just more silent cries.

"i hate to see you cry."

"I- I'm fine." seonghwa stutters with his voice breaking.

"hwa, you're not. I can see it. moon sees it, I don't know what I did wrong."

seonghwa cries more. now hongjoong and moon think they're the problem when all they've done is support him.

"you did nothing wrong." he hiccups between the words, looking down at his fingers trying to distract himself.

"then what is it?" seonghwa doesn't answer, he couldn't.

"seonghwa, please."

"is it because I walked in on you guys? is he mad at you now?"

hongjoong had to fall asleep with still unanswered questions but he wakes up early in the morning because if he can't talk to seonghwa then rowoon can.

when rowoon walked out of his room, he met hongjoong already drinking his coffee in the kitchen.

"hey hongjoong." he said putting on a nice smile while grabbing mug to him a coffee too.

"what happened between you and seonghwa?" the older was taken aback by hongjoong's sudden question, shyly putting his hand on the back of his neck.

"well you saw, didn't you." he answered.

"yea but why has he been acting so weird since that?" rowoon tilted his head looking at him.

"I haven't really seen or talked to him since that but I guess he just has to sort out his feelings." he was putting his shoes on ready to leave but hongjoong still got no real answer.

before he was out the door, hongjoong asked one last thing.

"are you and seonghwa a thing?" he feared the worst, preparing himself for another heartbreak.

"I mean no but after living together for so long, I guess we did get on some level of intimacy."

intimacy? hongjoong lived with seonghwa for a longer time than rowoon did and there was no feeling of intimacy with each other neither with another member.