golden moon | psh. - khj. |

all the days after tomorrow

seonghwa laid with his head resting on hongjoong's chest. it was peaceful and hearing his heart beat calmed him down. he didn't know how good it felt every time he did the same with moon, how it warmes someone's heart listening to the sound of your lovers heart like a lovesong.

he feels hongjoong's hand on his back caressing it up and down and seonghwa asks himself if this moment has to end.

everything was just perfect in this moment even after all the chaos earlier. he wants to stay in this moment forever. their son is peacefully sleeping beside them which hongjoong had his other arm around, holding his two treasures in his arms. for the first time it felt like they were a real family, they wouldn't change a thing.

"I'm sorry. I don't think what happened was on your bucket list when you said you wanted to come here."

seonghwa looking up at hongjoong as he laughs lightly making the other smile a bit too.

"I don't care as long as I am with you guys. tomorrow things will already be different, don't worry."

but it did worry seonghwa.

"what if tomorrow will be filled with new problems?"

hongjoong tilts his head in question, clearly seonghwa has been thinking more than he should and hongjoong wanted to find out what is on his mind. what was the older worrying about?

"then we'll work them through. together."

seonghwa nods while looking away for him again.

"why? is there something worrying you?" the other shrugs his shoulders in response.

"tell me about it. I don't want you to be alone with these thoughts."

seonghwa was lost in his words. he couldn't talk his feelings out, it was difficult. there's just a lot he was thinking about in this moment. after not speaking for a minute, hongjoong helped him.

"what are you feeling now, hwa?" he asked, making seonghwa question.

"right now?"

hongjoong nods when his eyes met seonghwa's again.

"I feel happy. I've been dreaming of us laying like this. together. in each others arms."

seonghwa said after little thinking. hongjoong can't help but let his smile grow on his face. he is just as happy as him.

"and how do you feel about whatever you were thinking about?"

seonghwa thought for a longer while.

"fear." he says, making the other confused but suddenly he felt this weight off his shoulders again and he's able to express his feelings better.

"I'm scared what rowoon hyung will do. he knows so much, he can easily spread a word or even worse publish pictures of us."

hongjoong understands. there are a lot of things that could possibly happen but he tries to not think of them in a bad way because no matter what will happen, he still has seonghwa and moon.

"I know. it's kinda frightening and frustrating because there's nothing we can do about it and people will hate us. even our closest people and fans we thought will always love us but 
it won't be the end of the world, okay. so let's not beat ourselves up about this."

"no, I don't fear what people will think. I've stopped with that a long time ago. It's that I don't know what this will do to us. our relationship with moon. I never wanted him to be in the public eye. if everyone suddenly knew who he is, what could to it to him? or what will it do to him in the future?"

hongjoong listened, he didn't think that far. seonghwa is right. all the things happening to them right now are also happening to him, their precious baby who doesn't want more than just be able to be with both of his parents.

"but what I fear the most is what it will to do us, you and me." seonghwa admits, swallowing hard before he spoke again.

"I don't want us to back in time again. I'm scared things will change again and we won't be able to be like this anymore. the company will restrict you from communicating with me and I have to be by myself again."

seonghwa's eyes brimmed with tears again while talking.

"that won't happen, seonghwa."

hongjoong wouldn't allow it.

"we would drift apart and god knows if we'd find back to each other. or what if this will cause a fight between us and we'll end up hating each other."

hongjoong wipes his tears away that gracefully rolled down his face. it broke his heart hearing this things as seonghwa cried, knowing these thoughts hurt him.

"I like the way we are right now. I don't want it to change but I'm scared of all the possible reasons that could. I hated being alone and I don't wanna go back to being it again. I don't think I could do it anymore."

hongjoong caressed his cheek as he deeply looked seonghwa his eyes which were filled with fear, pain yet there was something that still held a lot of love.

"you know I love you, right?"

seonghwa nodded in response, his voice to hoarse to talk anymore.

"no amount of hate or anger would make me leave you. I don't care what the company will do, you and moon are my life now. I want to be with you and moon, I have to. or else I wouldn't allow to call myself a father."

"but about your career? what about ateez?"

hongjoong carries a lot of responsibilities being the leader of the group and he knows whatever he does will have an effect on the others but he has to be egoistic at some point. he needs to think about himself and his own future especially with his son at home.

"no matter what happens, I will never leave the both of you alone. even if that means leaving everything behind, I have to seek for my own happiness and if that is with you then I'll climb the highest mountain and go thru the deepest ocean to find you."

seonghwa wasn't crying because of fear anymore. the tears were his proof to himself that he wouldn't want to be with anyone else then with hongjoong. he tightly wraps his arms around him, crying into his chest.

hongjoong gently placed a kiss on top of seonghwa's head as his hand goes thru his silky dark hair. his senses filled with his scent that lured him into a headspace where he would only think of seonghwa. he closed his eyes, breathing out again.

"not a minute without you."

-

small update since everyone deserved it <:

thanks for reading, I hope you guys are happy and loved just like seonghwa ,_,