Mandela Catalogue REQUESTS (COMPLETE) (PART 1)

Mandeela Catalase Cast ALL ON CRACK

Requested by brooklyn_blues on WATTPAD (Yeah, you can request these kinds of things too, maybe I should fix my first chapter about that before moving on)

Shit's about to go down because: 1) I'm not the funniest person alive, 2) oh jesus i really hope this is funni

. . . . .

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaand CUT!!!"

The slate snapped down as the casts of the Mandela Catalogue all stopped their acting. Alex Kister, the director of his film, was anxious to find out that after the screenwriting of this film was finished, all the people from the ACTUAL Mandela Catalogue universe crashed into his world. And now they were all hired for acting and helping with the production of his film. There weren't many crew members: in fact, all the people from Mandela Catalogue were the whole crew. Cameras, editing, CGI, everything else?

All them.

Yeah, they were a pretty small production, but Alex knew this would turn out right. 

If chaos would just STOP HAPPENING. 

As soon as he decided to call out "Cut," the serious atmosphere broke. Six punched Adam down and he and N surrounded the guy with his T-posing and started to yell things at him.

"No mother?"

"No bitches?" 

"No friends?"

Adam curled into a ball and cried.

"Hey, hey, let's not do that and move on to the next scene-" Alex tried to consult them, but he heard a huge crash from the other side of the small studio. Thatcher was apparently climbing a FUCKING LADDER to get to Ruth, who was literally on the CEILING, holding drinks for everyone, how did she even get up those thin rails??? The ladder fell down and Thatcher grappled on to the very rails Ruth was standing on, calling for her help while she only stared at his struggles.

Also, there was a huge argument burst from the other corner of the studio.

"L PLUS RATIO PLUS EL BOZO PLUS GOD DOESN'T LOVE YOU FUCKING ANGEL BITCH!!!" Lucifer yelled at Archangel Gabriel.

"LOOK WHO'S TALKING, STUPID GAY MAN WITH RECEDING HAIRLINES!!" The Archangel yelled back. "YOU WANT ME TO GO FULL GOSPEL ON YOU, HUH, ON YOUR CRUSTY ROCK-COLORED GRAY ASS?!! IF YOU DON'T GET YOUR UGLY WIG FIXED THAT'S ON YOUR PINA COLADA HEAD AND GET BRACES FOR YOUR STUPID DONKEY TEETH I BET NOBODY WOULD EVEN WANT TO FOLLOW YOUR DUMBASS ORDERS!!!"

Holy shit. That's one way to get an angel angry. And another way to get a devil angry.

Also, a rare opportunity of a lifetime to hear an angel cuss out the devil himself. 

"HOW FUCKING DARE YOU?!" Lucifer shouted back. "BITCH THAT'S WHY YOUR MOMMA GAY AND DEAD AS HELL!! OH WAIT, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A MOTHER!! AND YOUR DAD LEFT YOU FOR SOME HOLY WATER AND NEVER CAME BACK FOR YOUR STUPID SORRY ASS AND YOUR WINGS LOOK LIKE SHIT!! YOU LOOK LIKE A PATHETIC CHICKEN THAT HAS BEEN MALNOURISHED AND BEATEN UP BY A DOG!!! AND I'M THAT DOG WHO BEAT YOUR WEAK ASS UP!!"

"Oh YOU-"

"Hey hey hey!! Stop it, both of you!!" Alex ran up to them, waving his hands up at the two tall and imposing figures. He turned around as he heard Thatcher fall to the floor with a huge clatter. 

"No no NO WHY?!!!" Alex ran up to the Preacher alternate writing on the green screen with permanent marker. The letters "NOTHING IS WORTH TH" was plastered on it now. The Preacher stared at him before going on to write the rest. "ACK-No!" Alex swiped the pen away from her hands. "STOP THAT!! This is expensive!!"

"And WHAT IS WITH YOU, JONAH?!!" Alex yelled at the young silver-haired boy lying on the ground, Peter Griffin's dead pose style. 

"I want chicken nuggies," he complained. "I'm so tired AND HUNGRY I'm going to die."

A crash was heard AGAIN from behind Alex and he turned around and saw Noah, the biblical figure, face-planted on the ground. Wires were wound across the old man's legs, apparently having to trip on them, papers of the script flying around him. Sarah looked at him, concerned, and went over to help him up. Mary was possibly the most normal one, trying to memorize her script while ruffling her hair in frustration-

Wait.

Where in the HELL is Joseph?

Alex looked around, and there! On the rails above the green screen, the young bushy-bearded man was sleeping soundly despite the loud chaos ensuring. Next to him were the Cesar and Intruder plushies along with the Lucifer Vinyl figure staring below and watching the scenes unfold.

Evelin and Alternate Cesar were doing their jobs right, holding on to their equipments. As soon as Alex thought of that, Alternate Cesar toppled over and dropped the airborne mic on top of his own head, and he yelled in pain, while Evelin looked around concerningly and confused. 

Alex sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"FINE!!! WE ARE ALL GOING TO MCDONALDS!!!" He yelled at the top of his lungs.

"YEAH!!"

"YAY!!!"

"MY CHICKEN NUGGIES!!!"

Clamours of happy shouts, especially the last one was obviously being Jonah. Laugher ensured as if nothing unusual happened.

"Ugh, follow me outside you guys, and PLEASE ACT NORMAL, ARIGHT?!" Alex scolded them. Last time they went to McDonalds, Six threatened the coworker and the alternate took over the ENTIRE restaurant. All the while Alex was gone to the bathroom. For 4 MINUTES.

And all the while everyone was conversing happily to each other, the Archangel and the devil still arguing and roasting each other, the small studio was left into silence.

With Joseph still sleeping on the rails.

. . . . .

Artwork of this by me, COMING SOOn yeahhh

Sorry it's short, like I said I can't pull out funny shit from my brain automatically, so yeah