Red Lips Always Lie vol.3 [Bts fanfiction]

𝚅𝙸

Jungkook's P.o.v:

          After a tiring session of questions and bitter tears, the girls' families left the house. The moon was glowing on the night sky and I envied it for its solitude. I wished I could relax too. At least for five minutes. Ever since we came back home, everything was about Aria. And the grief was slowly transforming into a suffocating feeling deep down my soul. It was bad enough already that I was acting to have known her, but pretending to care made me feel heartless. I knew that I cared for her. But maybe I was too hurt or too confused to feel the genuine taste of pain. I lost somebody that I never actually gotten to know. They lost their friend, their family. And that made me feel like a misfit.
          Filling a glass with water and drinking it in one gulp, I tried to get my mind off of it. But, the truth was, I couldn't. In fact, everything was about her and it drove me crazy. Leaning on the counter, I massaged my aching temples and tried to convince myself that forgetting about her wasn't my fault. That she was part of my life once and that something or someone has erased her somehow. I had so many questions, but I couldn't talk to anybody. I was supposed to keep all of them inside me and put this drama aside. Except, everything around me became a reminder. I saw her everywhere, I heard her voice at every corner and it was slowly driving me into a severe state of insanity. I wanted all of it to stop. I had to find a way to get my memories back. Otherwise, I was afraid that I was going to be haunted forever.

Denise: Jungkook? *her hand caressed my back* Everything alright?
Jungkook: *I shrugged* Not really. That's why I went out. I wanted to avoid... *I pointed towards the living room where the crying session took place*... that.
Denise: *she nodded slowly* I know. It was hard for us too, you know?
Jungkook: *I tsked and turned towards her* I don't want to seem unsympathetic.
Denise: Oh, Jungkook! *she hugged me* You don't seem unsympathetic. I can see that you're missing her. *she squeezed me in her embrace* I know you're missing her.
Jungkook: *I clenched my jaw* I don't know how or what to feel.

          "Maybe because I have no idea who this woman was." — I thought, but didn't want to say it out loud. It felt like she was part of my book, but someone tore apart the pages on which her name was written. And it annoyed me so much to know that the one I once loved so dearly was such a stranger to me now. Denise nodded and held my hands in hers as she looked into my eyes.

Denise: If you want to talk, I'm here.
Jungkook: I'll be fine.

          My friend nodded again and placed a kiss on my right cheek. I was so unfair to her, but I was afraid that I was going to break her heart by telling her the truth. By revealing the way I truly feel and not the way I should feel. Seeing her walk away struck me that, probably, if I told her the truth, Denise would never walk back to me ever again.
          She suddenly stopped in one place and turned back around, taking a few steps closer to me. She looked nervous as she played with her fingers and bit her lower lip. She also looked exhausted, but, worried as she was, she seemed genuine when she spoke in a shaky voice.