In Another World With Chaos

Chapter 1: Without Order, There is Chaos

    Antidepressants. The solution to every problem. Well, not really a solution, more like a way to cope. That's what the therapist said anyways. It's funny really. Here I am, the incarnate of a god, and every night I can't help but cry about my best friend being gone. It's utterly pathetic.
It's been a month since he died. Same thing goes for the events of Eramis and Jared. Still, everyone acts all normal. Sure, I convinced them that "because Jared actively defended Grant, who traumatized Nino Nakano, he was a bad guy." But really, all that's changed is how people view me. I'm not just some random kid "Futaro Uesugi," I'm a HERO. It's stupid how mortals cling so desperately onto something or someone strong all to ensure they are safe from that same thing. Although, I still cling onto Daniel's memory, so I'm not one to talk.
Currently, I was out with the Nakano siblings. We were sitting in some "Karaoke room," dedicated to singing terrible iterations of even worse songs. Ichika was dueting with Itsuki, something about the soul of a dragon being the lyrics. Nino sat on the couch across from me, occasionally sneaking a glance at me before not so subtly looking away as fast as possible. I assume she was acting weird because I was the only male in the room, but it might be something else entirely. Yotsuba cheerily pranced about screaming at how amazing the Karaoke duo were, so her location was rough to read. Miku however was the oddball out. Ironically she wasn't acting odd like the rest, but she wasn't acting normal either. Daniel's death hit her hard too. I could definitely relate to her pain, but I don't really know how to address the circumstance.
It's a habit for Saiyans to get stronger from pain, and thanks to my Saiyan body, I'm the same, but I don't feel stronger from the pain of losing Daniel. Everything looks gray. It's hollow with lots of shadows. I'm not living, I'm suffering. And I don't understand how Daniel is the reason for my suffering. Coercively, I don't understand how to free myself from the suffering I'm in.
Apparently I have to live with this. That's what the therapist said at least. Something about depression being a permanent disorder, but do I need to live with this permanently? Why isn't it temporary? It's normal pain right? There are so many questions I have about what it is to feel like a mortal, but I just don't have the answers for them.
"Black, you alright?" Ichika, having finished her song, inquired while taking her seat.
"Oh... yeah," I dismissed.
I made sure to keep my diagnosed depression from the Nakano family. I can't let them know that their "Protector," has an Achilles heel. Each of the quintuplets had their strengths, and when Ichika was nearby, I had to try extra hard to hide my problems. Being the self proclaimed "Mother Figure," she was astute and knew when people weren't themselves.
"You don't seem fine, honestly, you've been really different for a while now." She attempted to pry.
I switched to the defensive in this conversation, attempting to shield myself from her claims through a red herring. "Yeah, the pressure of school has really been catching up to me. But that's about it."
"Interesting," She said, attempting to call my bluff. She probably knew I was fibbing, but didn't want to confront the issue with me here and now. "But with your intellect, aren't you on the high end of the IQ spectrum? Why would school be that difficult?"
"I mean, four weeks is a long time to be out of school. Being the savior of the world is one thing, but another is trying to make up the difference with all the missed assignments." I elaborated, attempting to continue my farce.
"Well, I guess you are right there. But, if you need anything, just talk to me. Despite our limited relationship, I still care about you."
'I still care about you,' something about that line resonated with me. I wonder if others would say that to me that is here and now. Would Daniel tell me he still cared even considering his fate? Or would Zamasu still care about me even though I haven't fulfilled his dream? Care is one sided, it's a foreign concept, no one cares about someone forever, only when they are an asset, a means to an end, that is the nature of caring for another. However, from Ichika's tone of voice, I still couldn't help but feel happy. A feeling so discrete to me, so miniscule in the life I lived, that it meant several worlds to me.
"Thanks," I started, "But I'm all good, just tired out."
"Well then, got enough energy for your song?" She smirked.
"What?" I questioned.
"You chose Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day for your Karaoke track, can't leave the emo song hanging."
"Damn you woman, well, wish me luck up there." I laughed slightly.
"Good luck Black."
I walked up to the stage, earning an opening applause from all five quintuplets, and promised them one hell of a cover
___________________________________________________________________
    Two figures were standing in a black abyss, one a dark silhouette, a man desiring currency, and the other, a monstrosity, being the one who would give currency.
    "Let me get this straight, you want me, a divine being, to give you a part of me, so I can reincarnate to this atrocious world!" the monstrosity raged.
    "Precisely, all I desire is an aspect of you, and in exchange, you may live out another life." the silhouette calmly emphasized.
    "But this me in this world wouldn't be me when what I give you is a part of the whole me."
    "So you would rather pass on as a figure of the future, confined to whatever lies beyond instead of living in this world as a second chance at life?"
    "No, I wish to live in this world as me, not just a partial me."
    "Well then, I cannot grant you passage to this world. Quite frankly I find it outright offensive when you aren't even willing to cast aside the bad parts of yourself in exchange for a second chance."
    "Well what have you been given in the past? Surely there's no benefit to receiving only the bad parts of someone."
    "I've been given both the good and bad. One of the most notable exchanges I made was with a boy who gave up his will to live."
    "Why would he give that up and decide to go to another world?"
    "Because he desired that aspect from others. He himself had no desire to live, so instead he wanted others to want him to live. His exchange was made up of one of dreams."
    "And what happened to the boy?"
    "He found his wish. The protector of the world took him in, and with new friends, he lived happily."
    "So this isn't just about me casting aside part of me, and instead making a wish?"
    "Maybe, it depends on what you wish for."
    "Very well, I will give you my obligation to the world, and in exchange I wish for renewed purpose."
    "I cannot grant your wish, but I can assist you in finding it. I will reincarnate you to a period of time wherein you may find someone to allow you that purpose. But why do you wish to give up something as specific as that?"
    "I failed to execute my justice, and therefore must find a new justice."
    "I see, well, I wish you the best."
    And so, the monstrosity was brought to the world in which Black lay. Two souls that had both failed themselves.
___________________________________________________________________
    Another day at school. Same classes, but it lacked the same energy. As much as I resent him, Jared at least made things interesting with his self proclaimed, "Chaotic Actions." On the other hand, not having my wingman Daniel here wasn't easy either. Before I could afford to be a fish out of water, any and every conversation was my domain, but now, I don't know what it's like to be extroverted. I slowly paced down the hallway, somewhat groggy from the day prior, and the night spent doing nothing but mourning. I luckily had shelter thanks to the Nakano sisters, and they did give Isanari and Raiha some funding too in order to partially compensate for my mistakes.
    My thinking was interrupted by a black and red haired boy running into me in the hallway. I dropped my books, and instinctively bent down to pick them up. The boy assisted me, but it was all a farce to deliver a message. As we were scrambling to put them back into my bag, he slowly and slowly whispered, "Y'know, since ya killed Order, Chaos has no one to reel her back. If I were you, I'd kiss my sorry ass support group goodbye." After that, he left, disappearing into the crowd of people.
    "YOOO BLACK!" Some quarterback shouted, "How you been man?"
    "Adequate." I always hated people who hunted for fame. I think they were called "Clout chasers," but despite the title they are given, they're awful people who only make relations with others for fame.
    "Man, it's been so long, like man you gotta come to the party I got going on this Friday, like it'll be so epic."
    "No thanks, I'm not one for social meetups."
    "Oh don't worry, this isn't gonna be like one of those cringy teen parties on TV, like we're gonna organize games, and like some movies, like it'll be one hell of a party for sure."
    "Well in that case, I'll consider." I say, attempting to brush him off.
    "Yoo, epic man, it'll be at 7:30 PM, so like come around whenever you really want. Oh and bring whatever friends you want, even that weird quiet kid, I'm not one to like him, but he's part of our friend group."
    'Bastard didn't even know Daniel's name, and he acts like he and I are best friends for life.' "Yeah, if I can make it, I'll drop by for a little bit."
    "Ey man, that's like totally perfect, I'll see you then."
    "Yeah," I replied, watching him walk off.
    They're all bad, everyone here didn't care about me when I was Futaro, but when I'm Black, I'm the star of the show, the popular guy, the hot guy, the smart guy, everything, I'm everything anyone wants to be, and everyone wants to know me. I hate it. I only care about a few things, but conversely, I find it hard to care about those few things with the stuff I feel.
    Geography class was weird. I walked in to see several kids escorting me to my seat as if I were their leader. The teacher talked about the recent spike of natural disasters, and in an effort to spite me, called on me to do the mathematics of how much they've increased within the past few days. I gave him the approximation of 1938% and shut him right up. Still, I know there are a lot of places in the world, but the major increase in disasters still astounds me. A majority of the hurricanes caused fell into category 5, and at a bare minimum, they landed under category 4. Earthquakes would be at least a 6.0, tsunami's so strong entire cities would crumble, and tornado's reached winds up to 500 mph, a record globally. Something was happening, and it coincided with Jared's death.
    Science was also weird. We were given a new transfer student, who introduced himself as "Matthew.O." At first glance, he was your typical university kid, wearing a blue hoodie, a blue pair of jeans, and some black shoes. His hair was combed downward, but still straight, colored a nice brown. Meanwhile, his skin was a pasty white. Walking in, he instantly began wagging his finger twice per second, as if it were a metronome. He took a window seat, sitting down next to the boy in the back, by the name of Damon, or I believe that's what he's called anyway. The pair talked as if old friends, until the teacher promptly shushed them. His finger never missed a beat throughout the whole period. Even when he was called on, or conversing, he still managed to sync up to the time perfectly.
During the same period, we continued to talk about the surge in natural disasters. Luckily enough, we were landlocked, so we were safe, and similarly, we didn't reside on any fault lines, so our town of 135,000 wasn't all that worried about the constant incidents. The population had come to forgive me for the murder when I coerced them into beliveing Grant had poisoned the water, and our duel was a fight to stop him. However, we were too slow, and lives were lost. It's easy to play the victim role when you've taken a "Noble Goal," Grant being framed as the villain was almost perfect too. Thanks to his somewhat shady past, I could effectively clear my name.
The period came to a close when a loud bell rang out. Matthew and Damon both stood up, I reached down for my bag, only to be not-so-subtly kicked by Matthew, instantly dropping my bag and grasping my arm in a sort of pain. One of the random students in the room caught on, starting a fight with Matthew, but Matthew shushed him with a simple glare. The pair walked off, taking down the hallway fusing with the crowd of students that would always clammer about to grab a single glimpse of their "Hero."
The rest of the day passed by as normal, no strange events, no strange people, nothing. I walked down to the train station to head home, when I saw a young girl with long blonde-green hair looking somewhat scared. I was about to walk past her, but she reached out and grasped my hand.
"Do you know-" she said, on the verge of tears, "Where my daddy is?"
"Kid, how the hell would I know!" I snapped.
    Hearing this, her face scrunched, and tears slowly dropped from her eyes. I looked down at her hands, they were worn, and seemed somewhat poor. There was no doubt about it, she was a victim of poverty. However there was some strange resolve in her eyes, the determination to triumph despite her setting. In one arm, she clutched my hand, and in the other, she clasped a pair of shoes to her chest. Slowly after my outburst, she lowered her hand from mine, and walked off to the distance. The whole time however, she held this malicious aura around her.
    "Damn, what was that about?" I mumbled to myself.
    A few bystanders asked about me, wanting to know who the hero of the city was, but despite all the occurrences, the train ride home was decently normal, so was the walk back to the apartment complex, and the elevator ride, the opening of the door, walking into my room, and collapsing into my bed. I could tell Ichika was home, and Itsuki was in the kitchen eating, the other three were gone. I slowly fell asleep, with no motivation whatsoever to leave.
___________________________________________________________________
    A communion of people gathered into a cave on the outskirts of town. There were five of them, all of which had luminescent weapons clad to their bodies. Whether that be a sword, or sentient blades, they all gathered with a single goal in mind.
    "So, which of us wants to go to the white palace?" One of the figures asked.
    "HELL YEAH I WANNA GO!" An energetic male laughed.
    "Cool it, I'll do it, don't worry about trivial nonsense Sigma." A young voice ordered.
    "Epsilon, lemme have my fun." The voice of Sigma complained cheerfully.
    "This is my domain, I'll be doing the honors." Epsilon specified.
    "Stop arguing," Another individual stated in a serious tone of voice.
    "Absolutely not!" Sigma laughed.
    "Sigma, you don't understand, it's hard to keep my temper in check," Epsilon giggled rather evilly, "I so deeply want to destroy this whole god forsaken Earth, but I know that It's not my place to do."
    "Epsilon, you understand that I'm suffering the same way as you right? I cared too, but you don't have absolute jurisdiction to do whatever you want." Sigma said, his tone of voice changing to suit the air of the cave.
    "What? You're gonna stop me? You know how the Ageloid domain works, you're not strong enough to beat me in a fight."
    "Please, just because you're empowered by your aspect of Yang doesn't mean you can beat me."
    "Your current max is around 50%, mine is 70%, you won't win."
    "CALM DOWN!" The final voice screamed, "OUR GOAL IS TO GO TO THE WHITE PALACE, AND SIMILARLY, FIND THE REMAINS OF DELTA TOWER, WILL YOU GUYS SHUT UP ABOUT WHO RIDES JARED'S DICK MORE?!?!?"
    "Your right, I apologize Epsilon," Sigma smiled.
    "Likewise Sigma," Epsilon concluded.
    "God, you two are intolerable," One of the voices prodded. "We'll just assign roles. Sigma, Gamma, and I will look for Delta Tower, meanwhile Epsilon, your job is to go to and retrieve the item from the White Palace."
    And so, the group of individuals began to disembark, opting to complete their own tasks assigned.
___________________________________________________________________
    I woke up with sweat droplets covering my face. My mind was spinning at the numerous horrors I had witnessed in my sleep. A little girl, no smaller than 3'6, dressed in an elegantly designed nuns dress, with big green eyes, and blonde strands of hair that started from the top of her head as black, transitioning into green, and closing off at blonde. Her eyes had a white hue to them, and in her tiny outstretched hand, the severed head of Daniel lay, eyes agape, staring at me. His blood seeped to the concrete that decorated the terrain around us, and his veins still bulged in pain. He sputtered in an effort to talk, but all he managed was to cough out little bits of his organs from his detached body which was nowhere to be found. Beside the girl, a figure stood, holding her opposite hand. The figure was clad in a pure blinding white, and his eyes burned a dark black. I closed my eyes for but a moment, and below me, fire and ash decorated the world around us. What once was a normal concrete world, was now architecturally designed with intricate faces contorted in screaming postures. A chorus of suffering people took over the sound atmosphere, and then I looked up. The little girl sat atop hundreds of thousands of corpses laughing and playing. She had fashioned two little dolls, in which she placed the severed heads of both Daniel, and a newly acquired Miku, and proceeded to play house. Meanwhile, the figure cloaked in white froze Nino in the air, while a newly formed, dark silver set of jagged but sharp blades, impaled Nino. The blades themselves were made of some easily bendable but study metal, and only changed color when one of them made contact with Nino's insides. Following the blades to their base, the little girl was still sitting there playing. She slowly tilted her head to look at me, and slowly smiled and muttered "sleep well?" before I woke up.
A cold sweat cloaked my body. Little icy droplets trickled down my whole shape, and all I could do was sit. Daniel was dead, and this was my mind taunting me at my failure. From a distance I knew, everyone I had killed was laughing at my torment. I was their muse, their plaything, and the roles had reversed. This was my punishment. I have no right to complain, I have to take it.
I walked downstairs, the Nakano girls were all chatting while doing work, normally this would be our tutoring time, but considering what I had witnessed, I don't think I have it in me. I passed by the siblings without uttering a work, in which Ichika instantly popped up.
"What happened?" She instantly gleamed with concern reflecting in her voice.
"Just a bad dream. Although I'm divine, I still get nightmares." I waved off. I couldn't risk worrying the caretaker of the home, especially considering that I had their futures to propel forward.
"You ready to study then?" Nino propped up, excited at the prospect of learning about her favorite subject, home ec.
"I'll have to pull a rain check, I'm sorry, but that dream hit me to the core. How about, I go take a walk, and any questions you have, you cl me." I reasoned, hoping she'd believe my lie.
"You don't sound like it was just a bad dream, how about we, instead of studying, just talk it out?" Ichika bargained, genuinely concerned at the pain I witnessed.
"I'm fine, I swear," I reassured, making sure to emphasize the "I swear part."
"Black, you're clearly not," Ichika assured, "your hair is flickering."
To my dismay, my hair was pulsating between Futaro's normal black cut, and my spikey gold. It was clear to them, I wasn't fine.
"You're right, I'm not fine, but I'll deal with it myself," I closed, immediately dashing to the balcony and jumping off. Behind me, I could hear a worried Nino shouting for me to wait, but I couldn't care right now. The savior of the planet had no time for weakness. If otherworldly foes were arriving, I would have no time to care about my own health, only those around me.
I ran for a few minutes, stopping at the edge of town. The Kriegbloom field shone its magnificent colors. Taking a seat beside Daniels grave, I began to wonder: was this all his vengeance for my failure to keep him alive? What is my own worth when the only one who truly knew me was gone? I sat for a moment, thinking, I knew it made no sense, people loved me, I was a hero, people idolized me. But somewhere, I don't care about anything but what Daniel thinks of me. I looked off to the left. There, several gold Kriegblooms surrounded the mighty Glaive Jared once wielded.
"Gold?" I pondered to myself, wondering what the color signified. I slowly stood up and walked over to the intricate weapon, bending down to touch one of the flowers. It gave off a compassionate warming touch, and the aroma of an old friend you reunite with. This was something I needed. I collapsed my face into my legs, and began to sob. I lacked this feeling, and I don't understand why. I slowly fell from consciousness, comforted by the somber beauty of these flowers. But when I awoke, I wasn't surrounded by a flower field, no it was a large white kingdom.