To rebuild our home

32

Eduardo's POV

I clenched my fists and felt a wave of guilt and hate wash over me. This was my fault I thought to myself. I despised myself in that moment and regretted everything that I have done to him.

I snapped out of my thoughts and began yelling out his name in the hopes of finding him. I searched for him everywhere upstairs before I went to look out for him downstairs. Once I arrived in the kitchen I was greeted with a confused Mark, still no Jon in sight.

"What happened Eduardo, why are you shouting out Jon's name,?" The blond asked me with concern in his voice. I was sure that he already knew what I was about to say, but still he wanted me to say it to him so that he could believe that what I figured out was really happening. "Mark, Jon is gone. He isn't in this house." I spoke out barely loud enough for him to hear it.

Mark just gasped and I could tell from this that he was taken aback. "He is gone?" He repeated one part of what I had said but it came out more as a question. He doesn't seem to know where he could have gone, but I could tell that Mark wanted to tell me something from the way in which he desperately looked at me. Then it happened, he told me everything that happened last night while he was starting to tear up in front of me.

He told me that Jon cut himself and that he even tried to his his own live but that was to scared to do so and this was the moment when I finally broke down in tears. What have I done? That was the first question that went through my head after I first heard this. He cut himself and it was all my fault. He cut himself, was afraid of me and finally ran away. It was also my fault that he even wanted to end his own life just to end his suffering. I made his life a living hell and hated like this the person that loved me the most and looked up to me the most all because of my god damn anger issues. How could I repair the damage that I have done? How could I fix someone who didn't wanted to be alive any more? Those were two of the many questions that were haunting my mind. But one question repeated in my head the most. Where was Jon right now and most importantly how was he doing right now?

Mark seemed to have a clue about what I thought because I could see that his gaze was softening. He knew that being mad or disappointed at myself wouldn't change the fact that Jon was probably somewhere out there alone and scared. I couldn't believe it that I lost him again.

Mark and I went outside and searched for him. We went to the shopping mall and then right after to the park. I knew that it was Jon's favorite place, so I thought that it wouldn't hurt to look out for him there. But he wasn't there unfortunately, the only odd thing that we found there was a part of a rope or something that was dangling from one of the branches of the biggest tree in the park, but I would never have associated this part of the rope that was tied into a noose before with Jon not even in a million years.

After searching the whole area and asking every person that crossed our way if they had seen Jon, we went back into our house without making any process. We still didn't had a clue where he could be and the worst thing was that we didn't even had a clue if he was doing well or if he was even alive.

So I thought about something that I wasn't very much willing to do, I thought about asking our neighbors if they had seen Jon. I was sure that they wouldn't have seen him when he had gone away since it was unlikely that one of them would have spotted him in the night or earlier this morning when he was running away, but still it was the only thing left that we were able to do at this moment. So we went out of our house and ringed at the doorbell of our neighbors that I despised with all my heart.