Hesitation 18+🔞

Chapter 16: Flushing out the Enemy

Author's Note:
Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. <3 please leave your thoughts or a star, it means a lot to know I'm not writing just for myself

Levi's POV
You look over to the bed, shocked to hear immediate snoring. How you wish you were able to just end the day already, today was the darkest day in the history of the Scouts. You clean up the dining wear from the desk and any crumbs that may have escaped before glancing over to (Y/N) in bed. Finally, all of your squad is at peace, you can carry the burden for them.

The light at the bottom of the stairwell flickers as moths gather around it. Your thoughts revert to earlier, it's as if she knows exactly how to excite you but, you can't afford to be distracted by some undisciplined, deprived brat. God, she better get some self control. The poor girls probably still in shock, she's clearly not in her right mind.
The cool air hits your face as you open the door to the rear courtyard where crickets serenade the night. The fresh air resets your train of thought, bringing back the horrors of today. You walk far enough away from the base where rocks have gathered overlooking the hills and take a seat, admiring the stars. You've lost many comrades over the last 6 years, but it's been a long time since you lost someone you loved. It doesn't get any easier the more experience you have with loss, it just becomes more difficult to love again. Nothing could've prepared any of you for an opponent like her, but you can't help wonder what would've happened if you'd gone against Erwin's orders and told your team what the plan was, or if you hadn't gone to refuel like he asked. There's a good chance they'd still be here if you hadn't left them. Once hidden, you take a seat on the rocks. Tears pour out as your mind replays images of their bloody bodies contorted in unnatural positions. Losing Petra was the hardest. You loved all of them but you loved her differently. You loved her in a way that you never thought you could love someone in. She never pressured you to love her either, but somehow her love was impossible to escape. You've dealt with loss your entire life, but this time you're grieving more than just a person, you're grieving the loss of a love that never got the chance to finish itself out. It was the 5 of you against the world, but it was the 4 of them against her. You should've been there. You should have been there. Erwin couldn't risk losing you and you understand that, but it doesn't take away the immense guilt you're feeling.

If Annie is really behind all of this, then that means the colossal and the armored Titan are hidden among us, a spy just like Erwin had suspected. What could he possibly come up with by tomorrow nights meeting? You don't doubt him, but its impossible to see  a solution.

(Y/N) 2nd person
The room is silent as you slowly blink your eyes awake. Your hands are in even more pain than when you had gone to sleep, so you just lay there. The pain reminds you that yesterday happened and you immediately regret waking up. You want nothing more than to fall back asleep, blissfully unaware of the loss that now haunts your life. You lay in agonizing pain, paralyzed by the heaviness of the day before and each second that goes by is torture, you refuse to start another day. Today feels impossible. You catch yourself before the spiral begins and enter a dissociative state, losing track of time. At least an hour must've went by before your door is opened and your consciousness is jolted back into your body. Levi walks in and drops a stack of files on the desk.

"It's 10am, you should really get up." He walks towards your bed carrying two bags of ice. "Ice your hands or you might never be able to use them again." He extends his hands out to you but you're frozen in place.
He reaches into his pocket and grabs a small pouch

"I get it if you don't want to speak because you have some dragon breath going on so, here. Please." He places the ice on his the end side table and leaves the bag on your bed.  You manage to pull yourself out of bed and start for the door.